


The Healing Powers of Paint

by Aprilshowers3356



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-06-08 21:24:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6873880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aprilshowers3356/pseuds/Aprilshowers3356
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just when she thought she was finally get a handle on her new life in DC, Clarke found out her boyfriend of six months was in a relationship with someone else the entire time. <br/>Now, she's trying to find a way to move on when she meets Lexa. Together, they slowly find a way to heal old wounds and learn to love again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first story for the 100 fandom, but I miss Clarke and Lexa so much I couldn't help but write it. I hope I can write a story that will do those amazing characters the justice they deserve.

Clarke let out a sigh and gently rubbed her eyelids with her fingers. Her head was reeling from the copious amounts of alcohol she had already consumed that night, but she needed more to numb the ache that had been ever present in the pit of her stomach. She pushed her glass in front of her and motioned for the bartender to fill it up again.

            “Haven’t you about had enough?” he asked as he poured her glass.

            “No. I haven’t,” Clarke snapped, her eyes took a dangerous tone that made him immediately back away from her.

            _Fucking idiot. I’ll decide when I’ve had enough. I’m an adult._ She chuckled at that last thought while to took a gulp of her liquor, too drunk to really feel the offensive burn the cheap Fireball whiskey left on her throat. _An adult whose life has become a fucking teenage drama. Boy drama of all things. What was this fucking high school again?_

The thought of the boy made her groan. She needed to see his face again. And she hated herself for needing that. Her internal battle between self-loathing and desire eventually conceded to desire and she fumbled to free her phone from her back pocket. Her eyes refused to focus on the screen for a solid minute after she finally managed to retrieve her phone. She let it plop down onto the counter and hovered her fingers over the key pad, racking her brain from the passcode. The numbers slowly came to her and she typed them in with clumsy heavy fingers. She rested her head sideways on the counter and tilted the phone so she could still see the screen then tapped the Photos app.

            And there he was. Smiling a careless smile. It was almost impossible to believe that those bright eyes and boyish dimples could belong to complete and utter liar. A cheater. _Idiot._ She cursed at herself for the millionth time since she had discovered the other girl four weeks ago. His bright eyes turned to panic, the smile disappeared and never came back to warm her heart. Four weeks since she had felt the safety and warmth that only his arms could bring. _Fuck this._ She jammed the lock screen and watched his face fade to black then dropped her phone flat on the counter. She closed her eyes.

            “Uhghh. I’m so drunk,” she groaned, beginning to regret the last drink. The room felt like it was spinning.

            “You’re not going to throw up are you?” A voice asked beside her.

            Clarke shot her head up and turned to the direction of the voice. It belonged to a woman that she hadn’t seen before. _Pretty woman._

            “Where did you come from?” she slurred. Realizing how unkempt she probably looked she sat up straighter and smoothed out some of the tangles in her hair. At least that’s what she intended to do, but the sudden upward movement proved to be too much for her intoxicated self. She keeled over, feeling ready to vomit at any moment.

            “Hey you better not throw up in here,” the bartender shouted at her.

            “Relax, I’ve got her,” the woman assured him. She rubbed Clarke’s back gently then asked, “You’re not going to throw up on me right?”

            Clarke sat up, slower this time. “No, I’m good. Just gotta take things slow.”

            She leaned forward on the counter and nearly knocked her glass over, but the woman caught it.

            “Easy there. How many of these have you had?” the woman asked then smelled the contents of her glass and wrinkled her nose.

            “Four or five.”

            “Try seven,” The bartender corrected as he brought her a glass of water. “Tell your friend if she wants to stay here much longer she needs to sober up a bit.” He instructed the woman who nodded.

            “Ooo water. Perfect.” Clarke thought out loud and took a large sip. A part of her understood that it was definitely time to start sobering up. The other part wasn’t ready to let go of the swirling drunk feeling that numbed her ability to think about Finn. She was half through her glass of water when she realized the woman was still rubbing small circles on her back. “You don’t have to take care of me anymore. I got this.”

            “Right. Sorry. You just seemed sad that’s all.” The woman immediately took her hand off of Clarke.

            “You’ve been watching me?” Clarke asked while she gestured to the bartender to bring her another glass of water.

            “You are very attractive. That kind of makes you draw attention to yourself. And I heard you crying in the bathroom earlier.”

            _God, I must look like a mess_. _Wow that’s probably the soberest thought I’ve had all night._ “Ah. Well yeah.”

            Silence fell between them as Clarke noisily drank her second glass of water. “So what happened? If you want to talk about it of course?” the woman asked.

            Clarke surveyed her new friend warily. She looked genuinely interested in hearing what Clarke might say. Soft green eyes fixated on hers in a way that seemed to see right into her soul.

            “Not much to tell. I loved him and he already had someone else. Not that he told me that for the six months we were together. I should have known.”

            “And you still love him?”

            “No.”

            “Then why come here and drink yourself under the table?”

            “First of all, I’m nowhere near drinking myself under the table. And second of all, I’m here because I’m angry. At myself. Stupid me for thinking I could love someone and they wouldn’t just leave.” She stared at the counter in front of her, her eyes growing venomous.

            The woman sighed knowingly and leaned forward on the counter beside her. Their hands were almost touching. Clarke was surprised at how much she wanted them to.

            “I had someone special leave me too,” the woman said slowly as if she was struggling to get out the words.

            Clarke looked over at her. Their eyes met and recognized a similar pain. “What happened?”

            “I don’t know. We had three years together. And then one day, she was gone.”

            “Just like that?” Clarke asked, stunned.

            The woman gave her the slightest nod, her green eyes had grown distant. The pain they bared did not seem to be something for Clarke’s to witness so she looked away. Instead of speaking, she reached out and took the woman’s hand in her own. They sat silently again for a moment, each reliving their own losses.

            “What a pair we are. Don’t we deserve better than this?” Clarke muttered at last, giving the hand she was holding a squeeze. The water she had chugged had had a marvelous effect on sobering up, but it demanded to be released from her system. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Will you be here when I get back?”

            “Of course,” the woman answered, a small smile formed on her lips.

            Clarke walked to the bathroom with more motor control than she thought she would have had. She found herself rushing through her task in the bathroom, eager to get back to the bar in case the woman decided to leave despite her promise to stay. She winked at her reflection as she washed her hands. _Okay Clarkey. Time for some rebound sex._

            Her heart skipped a beat when she left the bathroom and saw the woman, true to her promise, was still there.

            “You’re back,” the woman said, sounding somewhat surprised. “And here I was beginning to think you had ducked out the back.”

            “Leave you? No way.” Clarke sat on the edge of her bar stool, knees touching her companion’s. The ache in the pit of her stomach was back, but this time it demanded something else to soothe it. She ran her hand gently on the woman’s back. “Besides, we were just getting to know each other.”

            The woman melted into Clarke’s touch then stood up.

            “Hey, where are you-“ Clarke began, but the woman leaned down and brought her lips to her own.

Initial shock quickly faded into desire and Clarke deepened the kiss. The woman pulled away slightly, gently caressing the tip of her nose with her own. She moved to go for a second kiss when Clarke pulled back. Immediately, the woman backed away from her, eyes searching Clarke’s. Clarke stood up from the bar stool and took one of the woman’s hands and pulled her close enough to whisper in her ear.

“Hey, you wanna get out of here?”

“I thought you would never ask. Your place close?”

“Just around the corner.”

The two stumbled out into the dark streets. Hands firmly intertwined. Suddenly they started giggling from anticipation and intoxication. When they got to Clarke’s front door, Clarke pinned her against it and kissed her until she felt her knees go weak. She fumbled with the keys in the lock then finally succeeded in opening her door. The whole time she was messing with the door the woman leaned up against it, hands lightly touching Clarke’s face and tracing small circles on the bare skin of her arm. Each touch sent little tingles throughout her body. _This is going to be the rebound sex of the ages_.

 

**********************************************************************************************************************

Lexa woke with a curse. Her head was pounding from the beginning of a hangover that was bound to ruin her plans for the next day. The brightly light digital clock by the bed cheerfully reported that it was 4:30 am. _Shit shit shit_. _I’m getting sloppy._ Gently, she untangled herself from the naked blonde woman’s arms and legs. She stood up carefully, trying not to shake the bed and wake up? _God I didn’t even ask her name. Not that it really matters._ She used the light from the clock to locate the jeans that had been thrown across the room in their haste to get undressed. _Where the fuck is my bra? Oh right_. They hadn’t quite made it onto the bed the first time. She bent over and fished around underneath the bed until she found her bra. Fully dressed at last, she stole from the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. _Hopefully you won’t be too upset to wake up without me._


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke’s eyes fluttered open and blinked slowly in the white light that filled her room. Her head pounded from the hangover she had given herself from her impromptu drinking binge last night. _Oh right. Last night._ The other impromptu event of the night came flooding back to her. She reached over to the spot where she thought there would be another person, but only found empty sheets. Confused, Clarke sat up and looked around the room. _Definitely wasn’t a dream_. The trail of her clothes leading from the door to the floor by the bed told her as much. _I guess she left? I mean it’s not like she’s in the kitchen making breakfast._

            Her heart sunk a little. She wasn’t sure what she had expected. Finn had made her breakfast after their first time. He even drew little smiley faces on her pancakes with chocolate syrup. It had been ridiculously cheesy, but in a way she couldn’t help but love. He had always been so careful to be attentive to her. _I should have known. That bastard._ But all of that was different. They had been in a relationship. This random woman she had met didn’t owe her chocolate pancakes or morning cuddles, and yet part of her was hoping to be surprised. She pulled on her bathrobe and left her room.

            She could hear coffee brewing in the kitchen. Someone had to be awake then. _Maybe she is the romantic type? I don’t know anything about her. I don’t even know her name._ She turned the corner and found her roommate, Wells, sitting at the table reading a newspaper.

            “Good morning sleepy,” he said when she walked in, eyes never wavering from the paper in front of him. “I made you some coffee. Figured you’d be up around now. It’s practically noon after all.”

            Clarke groaned. Her head hurt and she had wasted half her day sleeping off a stupid drinking binge. She poured herself a cup of coffee with slow clunky movements.

            “You alright? I didn’t hear you come in last night.”

            “Yeah I’m alright. I just got back late. Hey, um, is there someone else here?”

            Wells looked at her curiously and put down his newspaper. He cast a quick glance over their small apartment. “No?” He said slowly, “Should there be?”

            “No. Sorry I’m just out of it. Thanks for the coffee,” she said and smiled at him. He brightened at her smile.

            “No worries. That’s what you keep me around for.”

            Clarke took a sip of her coffee and sat down across the table from Wells. She cradled the mug in both hands and gently traced the ridges that ran along the outside with her thumb. A wave of nausea passed over her.

            “Ugh, I’m never drinking again.” She dropped her head down on the table.

            “You say that almost every time you drink. And yet here you are.”

            “That’s very sympathetic, Wells.”

            “I’m just teasing. You should have known that this would happen when you went drinking without me.”

            “I didn’t really mean for it to happen. I was just going to the gas station to buy chips and the next thing I knew I was at Pauna’s taking shots.”

            “That sounds… healthy.”

            “I know it’s not healthy,” she snapped then immediately regretted it. Her tone softened. “I know it’s not. I just don’t know what else to do. I can’t get him out of my head.”

            “You could delete those pictures you have of him from your phone for a start. Maybe then you can stop staring at them longingly. Honestly Clarke, the longer you hold on the more it’s going to fuck you up. I can’t keep seeing you drink this much. It’s actually kind of terrifying.”

            “Is this your version of an intervention?”

            “No. I mean yes. Well kind of. I want my best friend back. I hate going to bed every night hoping you don’t drink yourself senseless.”

            Wells’s eyes were dripping with concern. It was enough to make Clarke start to feel guilty. _I’m not just hurting me here._ Wells was family to her, and she really hadn’t been present since the breakup.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. Last night was rock bottom. I need to start moving on. I’ll get my phone and you can supervise me deleting those pictures.”

“There you go!” Wells smiled at her encouragingly.

She retrieved her phone from her room. At some point last night it must have gotten bumped a little too hard because it was sporting a brand new crack down the middle of the screen. _Oh that must have been when I fell off the drawers._ Clarke blushed at the memory of her mystery woman and her fumbling in the dark, so desperate to get at each other that they had started on the drawers and then fallen to the ground. _I must have smashed it between my weight and the floor. Please still work little guy._ To her delight, the phone screen flickered on immediately. To her disgust, it happily displayed three unread messages. All from Finn.

 **9:32 AM Finn Collins <3: **Hey. It’s been over a month can I see you again?

 **9:54 AM Finn Collins <3: **Clarke. Please. Don’t throw this away.

 **10:19 AM Finn Collins <3: **I love you.

            Clarke felt her stomach churn. _Oh fuck no. This is not what I need. God I need to get rid of that stupid heart emoji._ She went to her contacts to do just that, but her hand wavered. _Ugh enough weakness_. _Get a grip_. Feeling more resolved, she deleted his entire contact number then rejoined Wells in the kitchen, waving her phone triumphantly. She plopped down at the table beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. 

            “What happened to your screen?” He asked when she handed it to him for him to begin deleting all her photos of Finn.

            “It got cracked. At some point last night. I think I fell.”

            “Wild night huh?”

            “Something like that. You almost done?” She asked impatiently.

            “Yeah just one more. Why is there something on here you don’t want me to see?”

He handed her phone back to her. She fiddled with it in her hands.

“Finn texted me this morning.”

“What did he want?”

“To tell me not to throw our relationship away. That he loved me.” Her voice cracked more than she wanted it to.

“Did you say anything?”

“I deleted his contact.” Her eyes filled with unwanted tears.

Wells drew her closer into a side hug.

“I’m proud of you for doing that.”

Clarke laughed through her tears.

“Thanks dad,” she said sarcastically.

“Oh hush. You know what I meant.” Wells shoved her out of the hug. “I’m trying to be a supportive friend here. It’s not like either of us have ever gone through a break up this bad before.”

“You’re doing alright. Next time you should make a dart board with their face on it. That’ll really help me out.”

“Maybe there won’t be a next time,” Wells offered hopefully.

“You’re idealistic to a fault.”

“What you’re just going to let this one experience make you bitter forever?”

“Not bitter. Just cautious. I really screwed up. Let myself get distracted. Now look where I am. I have an auction tomorrow and all I have to bring is one lousy painting. I’m never going to be able to make rent.”

The weight of her real-world responsibilities came crashing down on her. When she had been with Finn, it didn’t seem to matter that she skipped at day or a week of painting to spend time with him. He was all she had paid attention to. Now here she was, utterly heartbroken, with an auction to attend that usually let her sell enough paintings to last her a month or two. _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._ She dropped her head on to the kitchen table.

“You’re going to give yourself brain damage if you keep dropping your head like that,” Wells said and gently patted her head. “Hey don’t worry about rent. I got you covered for that. And I’ve seen that waterfall painting. It’s amazing. People are going to notice it. Maybe it’ll be in higher demand because you’re only selling one?”

Clarke scoffed. “There you are with that idealism again. You’re lucky that hasn’t gotten you killed yet.”

“I’m going to be right. You’ll see.” Wells said confidently then stood up. “Alright, finish your coffee and get dressed. Late night or not, we’ve got errands to run and I am not lugging all of the groceries back here without you.”

“You have no pity on the hung over,” she protested weakly.

“I’ve pitied you all morning. Now come on. Nothing cures a hangover like moving around.”

                                                ****

            Whatever theory about hangovers that Wells had told her was clearly ridiculously wrong. The car ride to the mall only made her feel more nauseated. She had almost fallen back asleep when Wells pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store. It took her a full minute to summon the mental urge to get out of the car and catch up with Wells who was trying to wrestle a shopping cart free from disorganized cage that busy shoppers had tossed them into. When she reached him, he had succeeded at freeing a cart which she immediately took over pushing duty of.

            Clarke had already made a shopping list days before of what they needed to buy, but that didn’t stop Wells from going up and down every aisle just to make sure they didn’t miss out on an amazing sale. Wells was examining the discount bakery items when her phone buzzed.

 **1:32 PM (703)-234-1232:** What you’re just ignoring me now?

            _Yeah dumbass take a hint._ She wanted to type a reply, but knew it would be better to be completely silent. Any response would just encourage him. She dropped her phone into the cart with more force than she needed to. It bounced off the loaf of bread and landed on top of the apples. If Wells had noticed, he didn’t say anything. Instead he held up two different types of pies.

            “Which looks better. Chocolate or Apple?”

            “They’re both covered in crust so they kind of look the same. Who are they for?”

 **1:33 PM (703)-234-1232:** That’s petty Clarke. Even for you.

            She noticed the message displayed on her phone from where it sat in the cart. _This isn’t even remotely petty._

            “Monty and Jasper. They’re coming over to watch the soccer match on Thursday. You still in?” Wells said, noticing her distraction and trying to get her attention by leaning down to make eye contact with her.

            She snapped her eyes away from her phone screen and back to him.

“Yeah of course. And you should probably get both. Between the four of us, we’ll probably do serious damage to them. Plus, you’ll have to stress eat because your team is losing.”

            “Please. England has one of the best Women’s soccer teams.” Wells said with a confident smile as he placed both pies in the cart.

            “Yeah, but they’re playing the US team. There’s not a chance in hell they’re going to win.”          

            “I have faith.”

            Clarke laughed. “Alright we’ll see then.”

            They paid for their groceries and made their way back to the apartment. Clarke dozed off her hangover on the couch while Wells played Halo 6 with Monty and Jasper online. Finn had not stopped texting her throughout the day. He had done this periodically since the breakup. It’s like he picked random days to harass her. His messages were usually pretty tame, ranging from self-deprecation to commanding her to take him back, but the messages he had been sending today were getting more intense than usual. His last one made her hair stand on end. She sat up and grabbed Wells’s arm to show him. He stopped playing his game to read it.

            “You have the auction tomorrow right? Maybe I’ll see you then.” Wells read out loud from her phone. He shook his head. “What the hell is the matter with this guy? Can’t he take a hint? This is borderline stalking.”          

            “It’s not stalking. We were dating for six months. This auction happens every two months. He was always good at remembering things like that.” _God, why am I defending him to Wells?_  “Guess it helped him have two girlfriends.” She added bitterly.

            She leaned back onto the couch and rubbed her temples with her fingers. “Ugh this auction is literally going to be the worst.”

            Wells turned off his game and pulled her into a hug. “It might not be. Listen, I’ll go with you and bring Jasper and Monty to run interference in case he actually shows up. Sound good?”

            Clarke nodded into his shoulder. _He’s definitely going to be there. Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa will return next chapter.


	3. They meet again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of long chapter, but it sets up basically what I want this story to be about. I know this story has had a slow start, but trust me it will pick up as the chapters go on.

Clarke woke up from a deep sleep at 11:15. a little later than she had intended. The auction was at 1, but she had planned to get there at 12:30 to set up and apologize to the auction host for only bringing one painting. _At this rate I’ll be lucky to get there on time._ She sat up slowly and went to put on her bathrobe to go take a shower. On her way across the room, she tripped over her shoes from the night before. _God this place is a mess. I really need to clean later._

            After her shower, she got dressed and sat down at her desk to put on her makeup. While she did that, she checked her messages.

 **1:36 AM (703)-234-1232:** I can’t stop thinking about you.

 **1:54 PM (703)-234-1232** : Are you going to wear that dress I bought you tomorrow?

 **2:03 PM (703)-234-1232** : You always did look good in blue.

 **10:33 AM (703)-234-1232** : Clarke, I’m sorry. I was really drunk when I sent those last night. Please. I need to talk to you today. Will you hear me out?

 **11:37 AM Monty Green** : Hey Clarke, Jasper and I will be there in 10!

            Clarke completely ignored Finn’s texts and focused on Monty’s. _Shit that’s in like 4 minutes._ She quickly finished her make-up and was just leaving her room when she heard someone knocking on the door. She opened it to find Jasper and Monty in black suits, wearing matching green ties and dark shades. They had crossed their arms and were standing back to back.

            “Stalker protection squad ready for action,” Jasper said.

            They looked so serious that Clarke snorted. She shook her head and dragged them into the apartment.

            “You two are ridiculous. You’re not here to protect me. I’m more than capable of handling Finn on my own. You’re here to make sure he doesn’t make a scene.”

            She shot both of them a pointed look. Monty visibly crumbled and yanked off his shades.

            “Sorry, Clarke. We know that. We were just having a little fun. It was Jasper’s idea.”

             “What’s the harm in calling ourselves the stalker protection squad? It’s a great name.” Jasper grumbled.

            “Don’t listen to her. She just hasn’t had coffee yet.” Wells said as he walked down the hallway towards them. He was carrying a thermos and bagel in his hands.

“Here you go,” he said as he handed her both, “we had better get going soon if we want to be there on time. You drink your coffee and try to get more approachable. And you two, help me carry Clarke’s painting to the car.”

Clarke gratefully accepted the coffee from Wells and took a bite of the bagel. She smiled appreciatively at Wells who nodded at her. Soon, Jasper and Monty reappeared from her room. Jasper was carrying her painting carefully while Monty walked beside him supportively. They followed her and Wells to the car and sat in the back while Clarke took the front seat. It was a twenty-five-minute ride to the auction, which Monty, Jasper, and Wells filled by discussing the ending of Halo 6 while she ate her breakfast.

“I’m just saying the whole AI takes over the universe storyline has been done so many times,” Monty complained.

“What are you talking about? It was such a twist. Who would have thought during the first game that Cortana would become evil?” Jasper asked.

“It’s the exact opposite of a twist. Ever since the first computer was invented, people have been writing stories about them taking over the world.” Monty countered grumpily.

“I kind of agree with him, Jasper,” Wells said, “It really seems like they phoned that plot point in. It’s too bad. There was so much they could have explored.”

“You guys just don’t know how to appreciate a good plot twist.” Jasper grumbled.

“No, the Arbiter in Halo 2 was a good plot twist. Getting to play as the leader of the enemy? That was awesome.” Monty said.

            “Whatever. I just wanted to shoot stuff.” Jasper said dismissively

            “I agree with you, Monty,” Clarke said, jumping into the conversation. She hadn’t had the chance to play Halo 6 yet because of all the shit that had gone down with her and Finn, but she had played the others. “The Arbiter was my favorite character. He added such a different dimension to the game. Suddenly the Covenant were real people, not just nameless creatures trying to kill us.”

            “At least he didn’t die,” Wells said, “He’ll probably be in the next game. It would be really dumb to kill off a fan favorite like that.”

            “People have done dumber things in stories. I just wanted his character to have more screen time.” Monty said.

            “He’s not really a main character. He shouldn’t have a bunch of screen time. Halo is about the Spartans.” Jasper interjected.

            “Maybe in the first game, but it’s developed so much more than that.” Monty countered.

            “I miss the first game. Things were better before everything was so complicated.” Jasper said.

            “What do you really miss about the first game? The bad graphics? Substandard plots? The cringe-worthy dialogue?” Monty asked, listing his questions by counting them out on his fingers.

            Jasper just rolled his eyes. Before he could answer Monty and turn this conversation into an actual fight, Wells turned on the radio and played music to distract them. He and Clarke shared a knowing look. Monty and Jasper could debate about something like this for the rest of the day. She looked down at her phone, Finn hadn’t texted her again that day. _Maybe he won’t show after all_.

            They arrived at the auction just a few minutes after Clarke had initially intended to. It took her barely any time to set up her single painting on its display, then she went over with Monty, Jasper, and Wells what the plan was in case Finn showed.

            “Okay guys gather around,” she motioned to them to join her. They had wandered off looking at other artist’s works. “So this place has two entrances. We really need to stop Finn before he gets inside. Do you think you could split it up so that Monty and Jasper hang out at the far exit and Wells takes the one we came in?”

            “Yeah of course, Clarke,” Monty said. “But, um, what do we do if Finn actually shows up? I don’t know how useful I’ll be at tackling him to the ground.”

            “You shouldn’t have to tackle him. If he shows up, tell him I’m busy and I’ll talk to him after the auction.”

            “Are you actually going to talk to him?” Wells asked.

            “God, no. But he doesn’t have to know that. I just need to get through this auction, hopefully sell my painting and get out. Maybe he’ll have decided to be an adult before the next one rolls around and we won’t have to do this again.”

            “So we just lie to him? That’s the plan?” Monty asked, looking uncomfortable.

            “That’s the plan,” Clarke confirmed. “It’s all I could really come up with. We’re trying to deescalate this whole thing, okay?”

            “You got it, boss,” Jasper said. “Now can everyone put their hands in the circle and do a team cheer of Stalker Protection Squad on three?” 

             Wells and Monty hesitated and looked at Clarke for permission. _He’s not a stalker._

            “Okay, fine, but only because you guys are helping me out so much. Make sure you whisper your cheer, Jasper. This is a nice place.” She eventually conceded. “Remind me to get you guys something for doing all this.”

            “It’s not a problem. I’m sure you would do the same for any of us.” Wells said.

            They put their hands in the circle and did the cheer that Jasper had requested, then they moved to their designated positions. The auction would start soon. Clarke waited nervously by her painting, preparing how she planned on selling her painting to the various patrons who had started filing in. She glanced at her phone to check the time and saw a message from Finn.

 **1:02 PM (703)-234-1232** : See you soon, Princess.

            Her heart dropped when she read his nickname for her. She immediately locked her phone and shoved it back in her purse then locked any emotion she was feel away in a far corner of her mind. _One thing at a time._

Potential buyers filtered past her, barely any of them stopped to look at her painting. _What do they see in other paintings that mine doesn’t have?_ She had been working in DC as an artist for almost a year now, but she never seemed to really mesh with the other artists or patrons in the city. Half an hour had gone by, and no one had stopped to look at her painting. She began to feel deflated. _This whole thing was a waste of time._

She was considering calling off the whole thing and leaving the auction early when she saw her, the woman she had met at Pauna’s. _What is she doing here? God. She’s so fucking attractive._ The woman was dressed in a long green silk dress with an asymmetrical hem that showed off one of her long, tan legs. Their eyes met across the room, and the woman’s eyes widened with recognition then became hostile. She darted across the room towards Clarke.

“Are you following me?” She hissed when she reached Clarke.

“What?” Clarke blinked, surprised. “No, I’m an artist. I painted this.” She gestured lamely at the painting behind her, the woman’s presence made it hard for her to fully form words.

The woman softened after evaluating if Clarke’s story was true. “I see. Sorry.” She looked past Clarke to examine her painting. “It’s very beautiful. Any luck selling it?”

“Uh, not yet, but there’s time,” Clarke said, having minor whiplash from the quick turnaround this conversation was taking. “And how do I know that you’re not the one following me?”

“I’m here to purchase paintings, not stalk you,” The woman looked amused. She gave her painting one last glance then turned to walk away.

“Wait,” Clarke said, “Can I at least know your name?”

The woman turned back towards Clarke and looked at her hesitantly.

“Lexa.”

“Lexa,” Clarke tried the name. “Is that short for anything?”

“No, just Lexa. I have to go. Nice seeing you again.”

             Clarke watched her walk away, feeling breathless. _Focus on the job, Clarkey._

            Shortly after her interaction with Lexa, another woman approached her. She didn’t speak to Clarke, but stared at the painting with a frown. Clarke watched her staring at her painting for as long as she could.

            “Something you’re interested in?” She asked.

            The woman glared at her then said, “I’ve seen your work before.”

            “You have?” Clarke asked, slightly stunned.

            “Yes, it was a painting of a bridge. I meant to buy it, but someone outbid me. Has anyone placed offers on this one?”

            “Shockingly, no. But can I put you down for $200?” She asked hopefully.

            “I’ll need to consult with my employer first, but I’m confident she’ll approve. Do you ever do commissions?”

            “I haven’t before, but I can,” Clarke asked. She could hardly believe what this woman seemed to be offering her.

            “Excellent, I’ll return shortly. My name’s Anya Tung, in case anyone tries to buy this painting before I come back.”

            “Nice to meet you, Anya,” Clarke breathed.

            Anya returned with Lexa moments later.

            “Clarke, this is my employer, Lexa Woods. She is the only heir to the Polaris Estate which I’m sure you’re familiar with. I’ve spoken to her, and we would like you to come to the estate for an interview tomorrow.”

            “An interview for what?”

            Lexa and Anya exchanged a look then Anya continued in a bored voice, “We’re in the process of redoing the art collection in the estate. Ms. Woods wanted to hire a local artist to do so.”

            “You want me to redo your entire art collection?”

            “We’ll see how the interview goes, but potentially. It would be a massive undertaking. Could take years to complete.” Anya said.

            “Years?”

            “Yes, is that a problem?” Lexa asked, speaking at last.

            “No, of course not. I’d love the steady income.” Clarke stammered, flickering her attention from Lexa to Anya, trying to convince them she was sincere.

Her heart was fluttering.  This opportunity could help her finally get her started in the art business. It would finally give her a chance to prove to Abby that she had made the right decision in dropping out of med school to pursue a career in art.

“Great. We’ll see you at 9 tomorrow morning at the Polaris estate then.” Lexa said.

“Bring this painting, and don’t be late,” Anya told her as they walked away.

“Wouldn’t dream of it!” Clarke shouted after them. Finn and all that drama was long forgotten in the excitement of practically being handed a job.

                                                            ***

“So Finn didn’t show?” She asked her friends. They were carrying the painting back to the car after the auction had ended.

“No sign of the enemy, ma’am,” Jasper reported.

“Nothing on my end either,” Wells said.

Clarke smiled. _What a day this turned out to be_.

“Hey, you guys want to get a late lunch? My treat.” She offered to their hearty approval.

“Oh, I didn’t tell you,” she added once they had finished debating where they were going to make Clarke take them for lunch. “This lunch is actually a celebration. I basically just got offered a job today.”

“See, things are looking up for you,” Wells said over Jasper and Monty’s clapping.

“Maybe so,” Clarke conceded.

She was about to get in the car when a voice called her name from across the street. It was a voice, she never wanted to hear again. _Shit. Finn_. He staggered across the street, barely noticing the car that almost hit him in his fixation to get to her.

“I found you,” he said when he reached their side of the street.

“Hey man, you better get out of here,” Wells threatened. Jasper and Monty watched quietly from inside the car.

“Just let me talk to you for a minute,” Finn slurred, ignoring Wells and focusing on Clarke only.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Finn. That’s why I haven’t been responding to your messages.”

Finn sat down on the curb beside the car and put his head in his hands. He was silent for long enough that Clarke entertained the possibility of just being able to quietly leave before he noticed.

“Look I know I screwed up,” he said at last. “But I miss what we had. Don’t you?”

“I have no idea what we had.”

“Don’t say that. The way I felt when I was with you. There’s no way you didn’t feel that too. Please, I want that back again.”

“You don’t get to have that back. You used me, Finn. As part of some sick game you played to boast your ego. What happened, huh? Raven kicked you to the curb so now you come crawling back to me?”

“You’re the only one for me. I was too much of a coward to leave Raven when I met you. We had been together for so long. I didn’t know how to end it until I lost you.”

“I don’t even recognize you anymore. I have no idea what parts of you are real and what parts you invented.”

“It was all real Clarke. All of it.”

“I have no way of knowing that. You broke my heart, Finn. You don’t get a second chance with that. I can’t trust you not to do this again.”

            Finn looked up at her, tears in his eyes. She could tell his heart was truly breaking, _It never should have been like this_.

            “We’re leaving, now. Stop texting. Stop showing up. Get your life back together. Maybe don’t treat the next person like this.” She said bitterly, her heart hardening.

            “There will never be another one for me,” Finn said through clenched teeth.

            “For your sake, I hope that’s not true.”

            They left him sitting on the curb, staring silently into the distance and drove away. Clarke felt like shit for leaving him there, and like shit for still caring about him. She tried to push him from her mind and focus on the potential job she had acquired that day. For the first time since she had broken up with Finn, she was beginning to feel hope again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Next chapter will be posted as soon as I can.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this should be the last chapter that's more background than plot progression. I needed to set the scene before I really get into the heart of this story. I hope you guys like it.

Clarke dropped the batter on the hot griddle in front of her and watched it sizzle and curl up at the edges. She took a sip of her coffee while she watched her pancakes cook then flipped them over with practiced precision. She was just moving them to her plate when Wells appeared in the kitchen, blinking sleepily.

            “Hey, what are you doing up?” Clarke asked her friend who was in the middle of a giant yawn. He sat down at the table.

            “It’s your big day. I wanted to send you off.” He explained with half open eyes.

            “Aw Wells, you didn’t have to do that. You’re already helping me out enough by lending me your car for the day.”

            “I know. I’m just really excited for you.” He said, then yawned again, “It’s only one less hour of sleep.”

            Clarke brought him a cup of coffee then sat down at the table with her own coffee and pancakes. She began eating silently while Wells drank his coffee.

            “So, what is it that you’re not telling me?” He asked after he drained his cup.

            “What?” Clarke asked.

            “I know you, Clarke, something’s up. Any other time you’d be ranting about this job offer, telling me everything, but you’ve been strangely quiet. You barely mentioned it yesterday at lunch.”

             Clarke looked down at her plate and pushed a piece of pancake around. She didn’t look up while she answered him.

            “It’s nothing. It’s just… I’m not entirely sure why I got this offer. Part of me thinks it’s for a not very good reason. And I’m not sure what to do with that.”

            “What reason is that?” Well asked, the coffee had successfully woken him up and he looked at Clarke intently.

            Clarke sighed and pushed her plate away then looked back at him. “I’ve met the person I might be working for before. In a, uh, different circumstance. And I kind of feel like that is influencing their offering me this job.”

            “Different circumstance?”

            Clarke scrunched her face then said. “I kind of … hooked up with her on Friday night. Then she offers me this job? I don’t know. Maybe she’s going to expect that again.”

            “Ah,” Wells said and leaned back in his chair to ponder what Clarke had told him.

            “I mean it’s such a great opportunity. I would be stupid not to follow up on the interview, right? And if it’s weird I can just leave?”

               “Of course. I mean did you get the kind of vibe that she wanted to sleep with you again when you got the offer?”

            “No, she barely even talked to me. It was like she wanted to pretend the whole thing hadn’t happened.”

            “Any chance she didn’t recognize you?”

            “No. I don’t know, Wells. I want to be excited about this, but part of me feels I got this opportunity for all the wrong reasons.”

            “Let’s just see how it goes then. We can talk about it when you get back, alright?”

            “Okay,” she agreed hesitantly.

            Wells stood up and walked around the table to give her a reassuring squeeze on her shoulders.

            “You are going to do great. There’s no reason to think they don’t want you. You’re a really talented artist. Stop doubting yourself.”

            Clarke nodded then stood up and gave him a goodbye hug.

            “I’ve got to get going. Try not to fall asleep at work. There’s extra pancake batter if you want to make some for yourself.” She said then grabbed his car keys off the counter.

            “That’s a clever way of getting me to do the dishes for you,” Wells shouted after her as she darted from the kitchen and down the hall.

            “Love you, bye!” She shouted back.

                                                                        ***

            The drive had taken her longer than she had anticipated. Even though she had moved to the DC area almost two years ago, she had not quite gotten used to the shear intensity of DC traffic. She gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles turned white when it was 9 AM and she was still sitting in traffic. _Come on. Come on. This is not what I need right now_.

            She got the Polaris Estate almost twenty minutes after 9. It was an expansive estate that looked like it had been ripped directly from the Victorian Era. Unsure where to park, she left her car where the driveway stopped by the front door. She rang the doorbell and mentally prepared her apology. Before long, someone came to open the door. Clarke stepped back, surprised. The person who opened the door was a huge bearded and tattooed man who towered over her. He looked down at her and frowned.

            “You’re late. Ms. Woods has been expecting you.”

            “I know, I’m very sorry. I hit unexpected traffic.”

            “There’s always traffic in DC. Plan ahead better next time. Lexa does not like to wait. Now follow me.”

            He gestured for her to come inside then closed the door behind her. The inside of the house was as ornately decorated as the inside with the exception of the paintings that hung on the walls. Each frame was covered with a dark cloth that completely covered the painting. It added a somber air to the whole house. Clarke felt a slight chill run down her spine. This was a house in mourning.

            “Wait here,” the man said and motioned to the parlor then disappeared.

            Clarke wordlessly complied, struck speechless by the aura of the house. Someone had taken the care to place freshly cut flowers in intervals around the house which added a cheery floral air that did not match the somberness of the shrouded paintings. Curious, Clarke gently lifted the black cloth of one of the paintings and peaked underneath. It was a painting of a field when spring was in full bloom. Every corner of the painting seemed to be bursting with life and color. She noticed a plaque on the bottom of the frame which read:

 _Spring Time Bliss_  
COSTIA EVANS

            “What are you doing?” A voice said sternly from behind her, causing her to jump.

            She spun around to find Anya staring angrily at her.

            “Sorry, I was just curious.”

            “Understandably, but you are not to remove those curtains at any point. Now walk with me. Ms. Woods is in the stables. We can join her there.”

            Anya turned and walked out of the room. Clarke had to do a little running walk to catch up with her.

            “I’m sorry I was late. I got stuck in traffic.”

            “Yes I know, Gustus informed me of the situation. Don’t let it happen again if there is a next time.”

            Clarke nodded then said, “Can I ask you something? Why are the paintings covered up like this? They’re so beautiful. It almost seems to be a crime to hid them away.”

            Anya stopped and looked at Clarke as if she was decided if she was worthy of knowing the secret of the shrouded paintings.

            “They’ve been that way since the artist, Costia, died,” she said. Her voice tinged with barely imperceptible emotion.

            “Oh,” Clarke said lamely. She wasn’t quite sure what else to say.

            “Ms. Woods has decided to begin replacing the collection which is why you’re here today. If she decides to hire you, you will be expected to spend time at the estate becoming familiar with the area and the types of things that Ms. Woods likes so that you can paint a collection worthy of replacing Costia’s.”

            Anya paused. They had reached the doors to the stables. She held the handle in one hand and looked at Clarke very seriously.

            “Let me assure you that that will not be an easy task.” She said then swung the door open.

            Inside the stables, Clarke and Anya found Lexa while she was brushing the coat of a majestic looking white horse. She was wearing tight leather pants and a white flowing top that made Clarke’s mind start to wander. _Focus, Clarke._ Lexa was so intent on her task that Clarke didn’t think she had noticed them walking in.

            “Thank you, Anya. You can leave us now.” Lexa said without looking away from her task.

            “Very well, Ms. Woods. I’ll be in the house if you need help conducting any part of this interview.” She said.

            “I am more than capable of interviewing an artist, Anya,” Lexa said. There was an uncomfortable tension that Clarke couldn’t quite understand.

            “I meant no offensive, Ms. Woods. I’ll attend to your other affairs then.” Anya said curtly then left the room.

            Lexa waited until she was gone to begin speaking again.

            “Before we begin, I feel like there is something we have to get out of the way,” Lexa said.

She dropped the brush she had been using and gave her horse a gentle pat before walking out of the stable to give Clarke her full attention.

“I want to assure you that the events of Friday night had no influence in my decision to bring you here. In fact, the idea to hire you was Anya’s and I was initially opposed.”

“What changed your mind?” Clarke asked, wondering how Lexa could be so casual when referencing what they had done that Friday night—the events of which still caused Clarke to blush slightly when her mind wandered to them.

“I saw your artwork. You are a talented artist. And it seems obvious that you could use a steady job.”

            “Why does that seem so obvious to you?”

            “Every young artist needs a steady job, right?” Lexa smiled slightly, breaking the tension between them.

            Clarke smiled back and nodded her head begrudgingly. “Fair enough. I don’t think I’ve talked to an artist my age who wouldn’t kill for a steady job.”

            “Luckily, you won’t have to kill for this one, but you will have to answer a few questions. Now would you prefer to walk around the estate while we do this or stay here?”

            “Walk around the estate,” she said decisively, “How am I doing on the questions so far?”

            “Excellent,” Lexa said with a grin.

            They left the stables and walked on a little cobble stone path that meandered from the stables to what Clarke thought looked like a greenhouse. It was a far less direct path than the one Anya had taken her to the stables. While they walked, Lexa began her questioning.

            “How long have you been working as an artist?”

            “About two years now.”

            “Hmm,” Lexa said looking contemplative, “What were you doing before that?”

            “I was actually in med-school before that. I dropped out in my second year though.”

            “Do you have a pattern of not finishing things?” Lexa said with more harshness than she intended.

            _You of all people should know how good I am at finishing._ Clarke pushed that somewhat dirty thought from her mind and answered Lexa’s question.

            “No, of course not. I couldn’t take being in med-school anymore. I hated every second of my pre-med track in undergrad, and I hated med school even more.”

            “Then why do it?”

            “My mother’s a surgeon. She always wanted me to follow in her footsteps.”

             “But you didn’t want to be a doctor?”

            “I think I did, in theory at least. I wanted to help people. I just didn’t have the passion for it.”

            “But you do have that passion for being an artist?”

            “Oh definitely. I think part of me has always known that this is what I wanted to do. The only parts of college I didn’t completely hate were the visual arts classes I took.”

            “How did your mother take it when you told her you were dropping out of med-school?”

            “She did not approve of that decision. I’m sorry, but is this super relevant?”

            “I need to know if you’re here because you really want a job, or if this is a phase that your mother is going to talk you out of. I have no interest in hiring someone who can’t finish the project.”

            “Don’t worry about my mother. I stopped listening to her years ago.”

            “Fair enough. What style of art do you tend to do?”

            “I’m more into realism, but I’ve done some more abstract works. I’m pretty open to trying anything. Anything that helps me grow as an artist.”

            Lexa nodded, seeming satisfied. “I think we can work with that. Now we can talk about a matter of your payment. You can start with a yearly salary of 40K and will receive bonuses for each painting you produce. It would be expected that you produce them at a reasonable rate and for you to work at the estate so that your progress can be monitored.”

            “40K? Is that what you paid the last artist?”

            “You’re the first artist that we’ve hired. I think that salary should be sufficient. We can reevaluate it as time goes on.”

            “Yeah, no that seems adequate.” _Holy shit._

            “Good, I was thinking you could do a painting using some of my favorite flowering plants in the greenhouse. Would you like to see those now?”

            “Of course,” Clarke said, ready to begin working.

            They made their way inside the greenhouse which was bursting with color and smelled like soil and flowers. Lexa looked like she was at home. She showed Clarke four specific flowers, carefully explaining what it was about them that she liked, the colors they often came in, as well as some additional facts about their temperament that Clarke didn’t necessary need to know, but she concluded that Lexa just couldn’t help but tell her. When she looked at her flowers, Lexa’s eyes echoed the emotion that Clarke’s did when she looked at fine art.

            They were just finishing up with the last flower description when someone else walked into the greenhouse. Lexa waved the newcomer over to introduce her to Clarke, but the newcomer stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Clarke.

            “What the hell is she doing here?” The newcomer asked.

            “She’s the artist I’m hiring to replace the art collection in the house. What’s that matter with you Raven?” Lexa asked, looking genuinely surprised at Raven’s outburst.

            “Aw excellent. Don’t you know who that is, Lexa?” Raven asked, her eyes burning.

            “Clarke Griffin?” Lexa asked, confused. Clarke stood there awkwardly, knowing full well who Raven was.

            Raven rolled her eyes, “Lexa. That’s THE girl. The one that Finn…” She trailed off and just fumed in silence.

            Lexa looked from Clarke to Raven then back to Clarke.

            “Just one second, Clarke,” she said holding up one finger then took Raven to the side. They had a quiet conversation in the corner before returning to Clarke. Lexa looked slightly defeated when she spoke again, “Raven would like to speak with you. I’m sorry, Clarke, but the decision to hire you is going to be up to her. She’s one of my oldest friends. I’ll let the two of you talk.”

             Raven glared at Clarke while Lexa left the greenhouse. Clarke tried to meet her eyes, but then looked away, feeling shame that she knew she didn’t deserve.

            “Look I know you’re angry with me, and maybe you think you have a right to be, but,” Clarke began and stopped when Raven scoffed as soon as she said “but.”

            “You’re damn right I have a right to be angry. You stole my boyfriend.”

            “What the hell is this, high school? I didn’t steal your boyfriend. I didn’t even know you existed. Or did he not tell you that part? He played us both, Raven. There’s no reason to hate me over this.”

            Raven opened her mouth to say something then closed it again. She softened, anger melting into sadness. She slumped down to the greenhouse floor and sat with her legs out in front of her. Clarke noticed that one of her legs had a brace on it.

            “God, you’re right. I’m sorry. This whole thing just makes me crazy. How could I be so stupid? I thought he loved me.”

            Clarke looked down at her, sitting on the floor, feeling like the whole world was crashing around her and felt an immediate sense of familiarity. She sat down carefully next to Raven.

            “I thought he loved me too. We could hate him together, if you want. I’d really like us not to fight about this.”

            Raven looked at her for a while then asked, “What if I can’t hate him?”

            “Give it time,” Clarke said bitterly. “It’s easier than you think.”

            Raven snorted then smiled at Clarke hesitantly. “Alright, Clarke. I guess you can stay, but only because Lexa really needs to replace that art collection. It’s been haunting her for three years now.”

            Clarke was about to ask more about Costia’s art collection, but she stopped. Now was not the time. She got up off the ground and helped Raven who needed help to stand because of her brace.

            “Right. Let’s go tell Lexa the good news. You’re lucky, you know? She seems to like you a lot.” Raven said as they exited the greenhouse.

            Any indication that Lexa liked her was lost on Clarke, for when Raven told her that she would allow her to hire Clarke, all Lexa did was give her a little head nod and tell Clarke to return the next day. Clarke said her goodbyes and got in her car to drive home. Before she started her drive, she texted Wells what had happened.

**2:25 PM Clarke Griffen:**

I got the job! And it wasn’t super weird and uncomfortable. Turns out she didn’t really even want to hire me in the first place, but her (I guess) personal assistant wanted her to.

Also, fun fact. Finn’s ex-girlfriend works here. I’m kind of afraid she hates me.

Also, I’m kind of afraid I’m going to fall for my boss (help I’m literally a disaster)

Okay, that’s the update. See you when you get back from work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter will be up soon. Comment if you have questions/want to give me more motivation to keep writing this story. (I'll write it no matter what, but without comments I feel a bit like I'm just shouting into the void).


	5. Chapter 5

“Alright. Spill the beans. You have my full attention.” Wells told Clarke at last.

            He had gotten home from work an hour ago but had to finish grading the papers from the high school English class he taught. Clarke passed the time as she waited for him by sketching out ideas for the painting she was going to do for Lexa. She started by practicing drawing the flowers Lexa had showed her, but soon her inspiration ran dry and she started to feel impatient as Wells methodically graded his papers next to her on the couch. Her heart leaped when he announced he was finished.

            “Where should I begin?” She asked, unsure if the idea that she would be working with Finn’s ex-girlfriend was more or less interesting than the idea that she had a crush on her boss.

            Wells pondered her question seriously for a moment then said, “Let’s start with your crush on the boss.”

            “I’m such a disaster, I know, but after spending the day with her, I literally can’t stop thinking about her. You would think that someone that rich would be super stuck up and unbearable, but she’s not. She’s so real. And she has this little look that her face gets when she’s focusing on something or when she’s talking about something she loves that just kills me.” Clarke stopped, aware that she was hopelessly gushing.

            Wells laughed. “Holy shit, Clarke, you are in so deep. How did that even happen? You were with her like 4 hours at the most.”

            “I don’t knowwww,” Clarke groaned. “What am I supposed to do?”

            “Any chance it’ll just go away? I mean you’ve been in such an emotional state with everything that’s been happening with Finn that your mind might just be looking for any excuse to latch on to someone else.”

            Clarke considered his remark. “Maybe,” she said slowly. “I don’t know though. This isn’t even remotely how it felt when I first met Finn. It took me a few months to really be into him to the point where I couldn’t stop thinking about him. But with Lexa, I literally have not been able to think about anything else since I left her place.”

            “I get that, but it could still be what I was talking about before. Finn was the first person you really fell for. You’d never had someone be so romantically intertwined in your life before him, so now that he’s gone, you have a space to fill that you didn’t use to.”

            “Or Lexa’s my soulmate and I’m screwing everything up by working for her.”

            Wells looked at her strangely. “Since when did you become a hopeless romantic?”

            Clarke shoved him away slightly by pushing his shoulder. He held up his hands defensively, prepared to block any further onslaughts.

            “You think this is easy for me to say? I literally never would have thought I would be the type to fall for someone just because we had a one-night stand. It never bothered me like this in college. It just makes me think there’s something different about her.”

            “Or maybe there’s something different about you.”

            “Why do you want to make this about me so badly? Is it unreasonable to think that I could really connect with someone?” Clarke asked with more anger than she really intended.

            Wells sighed then put an arm around her. He hugged her tightly against him before speaking. She remained tense, still angry.

            “Of course not. I just don’t want you to mess this job up. You’ve worked so hard to make a life for yourself since you moved out here, and I don’t want lingering emotions from Finn to mess up what could be the launching pad for your career. Can’t you see my side of things?”

              _Goddamnit Wells. Why do you always have to be right?_ She softened into his hug and rested her head on his shoulder.

            “I do see your side of things. You’re right. I’ve just been emotional since Finn.” She smiled at him. “You know for someone who has no interest in being in a relationship, you’re ridiculously good at giving advice.”

            “Hey, I can understand the rules of a game and still have no interest in playing. Plus, one of us has to stay sane. Who would keep Monty and Jasper in line if we both lost it?”

            “Ah yes, we must think of the children,” Clarke said in a mick serious voice, causing Wells to laugh.

            “Don’t let them hear you call them that. They’ve loved you since the day you got here, but I’m not sure they would enjoy being called children.”

            “Given the number of times we’ve had to drive to their place to use our spare key and let them because they’ve locked themselves outside, I think they can comply with being called children.”

            “You might have a point there. And Jasper is incredibly bad at losing.”

            “See? Children.” Clarke said smugly.

            “Very well. On that note, our children are coming over soon to play Castle Crashers. Care to join?”

            “Maybe, we’ll see if any inspiration has struck for this painting I might start tomorrow. Otherwise, yeah why not.”

            “Awesome! I’m gonna order some pizza too. Any requests?”

            “Anything is fine for me. And Wells? Thanks for talking with me. Sorry I’m such a mess.”

            “Nothing to apologize for, Clarke. That’s what friends are for.”

            Wells got up and ordered the pizza and Clarke went back to her sketches. Despite the logic of his points, Clarke couldn’t fully convince herself that her crush on Lexa was Finn backlash. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t stop thinking about Lexa and looking forward to seeing her again the next day. Her heart fluttered with anticipation, and in spite of her attempts to calm herself, she felt that the next day would never arrive.  

                                                                        ***

            It was pouring rain when she got to the Polaris Estate the next day. The rain had slowed down her drive, but she had left ridiculously early just in case and thus arrived at the ten o’clock meeting time Lexa had sent for her. She also had brought the waterfall painting from the auction that she had forgotten the day before. No one had mentioned its absence, so she was hoping that no one really noticed that she was a day late in bringing it. She carried it awkwardly with her as she went to ring the doorbell, grateful that the car port offered shelter from the rain while she waited. To her surprise, Lexa opened the door.

            “Clarke,” Lexa said, seeming equally surprised. “You’re early. Come on in.”

            “I was warned very sternly never to be late again,” she explained as she walked inside, trying to ignore the flutter in her stomach when she passed closely by Lexa.

            “By who? Anya?”  

            Clarke nodded and said, “Yeah and Gustus.”

            Lexa smiled, seeming amused that her employees had rendered Clarke so scared. “They take their jobs very seriously, but don’t worry. As long as you show up relatively on time, they should leave you alone.”

            “Yeah I’ve noticed they only ever call you Ms. Woods, but Raven called you Lexa. Which should I call you?”

            “Well, I think Anya might blow a gasket if she hears you calling me Lexa, so maybe stick to Ms. Woods if she’s around. Otherwise, you can call me Lexa. I want us to be friends, Clarke.”

            The idea of Lexa wanting to be friends with her made her head reel. She lost focus on her careful task of carrying the painting and walking and subsequently tripped over one of carpets that lined the wooden floor hall was. Lexa caught her just before she fell.

            “You alright?” She asked once Clarke had gained her balance.

            Clarke’s arm tingled from where Lexa was holding it. She looked down at her arm and Lexa immediately removed her hand and placed distance between them.

            “Yeah, sorry about that. This painting’s kind of hard to carry. Where should I put it?”

            “Let me help you with that. We can put it in my office, then I’ll write you the check for it.”

            They each took a corner of the painting and walked awkwardly down the hall. The painting was almost too big for Clarke to carry, but it was definitely too small for two people to carry it. Clarke could feel the heat radiating from Lexa’s body as they stood side by side, elbows almost touching. She thought about what it would be like to hold her like she had last Friday, bodies pressed up against each other, desperate for more. _Get a grip._ She shook that image from her mind.

            “Here we are,” Lexa said when they arrived at her office. It felt like it had taken ages to reach it. Both of them were silent the whole time they had walked there, focusing on the task at hand.

            “I cleared a space on the wall yesterday, but I guess Anya forgot to get this from you.” Lexa said as they mounted Clarke’s painting on the wall.

            Clarke didn’t respond. It wouldn’t hurt to let Anya take the fall for this. Besides, it didn’t seem like Lexa really cared if it was her or Anya who had forgotten the painting.

            “Sorry if the frame isn’t up to your standards. I got it at a discount at the store.” She said instead.

            Lexa examined the frame and shrugged her shoulders.

            “The painting is a lot more important, I think. Did you paint this from your imagination or was it something you saw?”

            “Oh, it was just something I imagined. I just felt inspired one day to paint a waterfall. And this is the one that kind of came to me. Why?”

            Lexa looked wistfully the waterfall in the painting, her eyes grew distant.

“It looks just like a waterfall I would see all the time on a hiking trail I used to do. That was ages ago.” She said in almost a half-whisper then shook herself back to reality. “I have your check here. Now I need to get some work done. The art studio is the second door on the left once you walk out. You can get yourself acquainted with your surroundings.”

Lexa handed her the check and sat down at the desk and began busily typing away at her computer. Clarke gratefully took the check and left the room to go find the art studio. When she found the room Lexa had directed her to, she let out a gasp. Calling it an art studio was an understatement. The room was enormous and filled with more than just painting supplies. There was a pottery wheel and kiln in the far corner, and grand piano in the middle of the room by the floor to ceiling windows which over looked the whole expanse of the estate. Clarke could see the stables and the greenhouse she had been to the day before along with an orchard and a hedge maze she hadn’t noticed. The pouring rain made the whole estate have an eerie but picturesque feel.

Clarke tore her eyes from the scene outside and set to work evaluating the painting supplies she had been provided to make sure she didn’t need to request any additional things. She got out a blank sheet of paper she found in a drawer and began testing the different shades of paints she found as well. They weren’t the brand of paints she was used to working with, so she had to test each one to see how they looked and how well they maintained their color when they dried. It was a slow process, but Clarke found herself enjoying it. The pattering of the rain on the windows had a calming effect and she lost herself in her task at hand.

She became so focused on her work that she jolted when a voice behind her said, “Hey, Clarke!”

She spun around to find Lexa standing at the door. Lexa looked worried that she had scared Clarke.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Raven and I were about to get lunch, and I thought I’d offer some to you if you’re hungry.”

Clarke’s stomach grumbled. _How long have I been working?_ She wasn’t sure if she wanted to eat lunch with Raven, but she definitely wanted to eat lunch with Lexa.

“Where are you guys going?” She asked, noncommittedly.

“Oh, just to the dining room. My chef’s made lunch for us, but I forgot to tell her that Anya wasn’t here today so she made extra. It’s okay if you don’t want to come.”

“No, I’ll come,” Clarke said as Lexa started to back away from the doorframe.

“Great!” Lexa said with a satisfied smile.      

Clarke joined her in the hallway and found Raven was there too, leaning against the wall looking grumpy.

“Oh, hello,” Clarke stammered with surprise.

“Hello yourself,” Raven retorted.

Clarke looked from Raven to Lexa, her eyes pleading for help. Lexa complied immediately.

“Raven. You said you’d play nice.”

“This is me playing nice. I act this way with everyone. Not just people who screw my boyfriend.”

“Okay you. Let’s go get some food. You’re really cranky when you’re hungry, you know that?” Lexa said while pulling Raven off the wall.

She started ushering her down the hall to the dining room. Clarke followed close behind, hoping that Raven’s foul mood would clear up with food as Lexa seemed to think. The meal that Lexa’s chef had prepared was absolutely stunning and fit perfectly for the rainy day. It was a prosciutto and pesto grilled cheese with a bowl of roasted tomato soup. They ate in silence for a bit, each person fully devoted to the food in front of them.

After she had finished half of her grilled cheese, Raven seemed to perk up. She broke the silence that had fallen over the table by turning to Lexa and asking, “So what’s the deal with your new student? Are you really going to let Lincoln date her?”

Lexa looked up at her than glanced at Clarke.

“I’m not sure if this is the conversation to have in front of our guest,” she said.

“I thought you said you wanted Clarke and I to be friends. Friends gossip all the time. So give me the details. I saw the two of them together after practice yesterday and it did not look like a professional instructor-student interaction.”

“Oh my god. Did anyone else see?” Lexa asked, she rubbed the bridge of her nose with exasperation.

“No, I think it was just me. But there’s totally something going on there, right?”

“Ugh, fine. You can get the full story, but let me fill in Clarke first,” Lexa said, looking at Clarke who was just staring at the two of them.

“I teach Taekwondo at a dojang nearby. Raven and I have been practicing there almost our whole lives. I work with a few other instructors, and recently one of them has taken interest in a new student.”

“Oh god, in like an age-inappropriate way?” Clarke asked.

Raven scoffed. “It’s barely age appropriate. I think she turned 18 like a week ago. Lincoln’s almost 25.”

Lexa nodded, “Even if they were the same age, it’s highly frowned upon for instructors to date their students. There’s such a difference in power dynamics that can easily get creepy really quickly.”

“Can’t you just tell Lincoln not to do anything with her?” Clarke asked, still unsure what the problem was.

“If only it was that simple. I’ve known Lincoln for almost 15 years, and I have never seen him this love struck. I’m worried he’ll just quit working there to be with her.”

“He wouldn’t do that, would he?” Raven asked.

“He basically threatened to do that when I vaguely mentioned to him last week that he was starting to get inappropriately close to Octavia.”

“Unbelievable,” Raven said and took a bite of her grilled cheese.

“What does Octavia think of him? Sorry, I’m just trying to get the full picture.” Clarke said.

“She seems equally enamored. They will stay for hours after practice sparring back and forth. I’m not sure if she just wants to spend time with him or if she’s just really that committed to her new sport. Maybe it’s both. They haven’t crossed that line though, but from the way they look at each other. It’s really only a matter of time.”

“Some things are inevitable like that,” Clarke said then realized she and Lexa had been staring at each other, not touching their food. They maintained that stare for a moment and the room grew silent again, the only sounds were Raven crunching on her sandwich. Their eyes seemed to be asking a question that neither of them would say out loud. _Are we inevitable?_

“Soooo that’s fun,” Raven said, breaking the silence. She looked at the two of them staring and then waved her hand to get Lexa’s attention. “I’m going to head to the greenhouse after lunch to check on the plants. You wanna join me?”

“No, I was going to finish some work and play the piano. I’ll stop by later.” Lexa said, jolting free from her trance.

“Alright then,” Raven said then stuffed the last bite of grilled cheese in her mouth before standing up to go. “This has been great.”

She left the room without even glancing at Clarke who couldn’t help but wonder what she had done to make Raven angry this time.

“I hope you won’t mind if I play the piano in the room where you’re working,” Lexa said after Raven had gone.

“Of course not,” Clarke said, heart beating wildly. “Painting goes perfectly with music.”

They shared a smile.

“So it does,” Lexa said, half to herself.

They went back to the art studio after they had finished eating. Lexa sat down at the piano and Clarke went back to her easel and set a blank canvas on it. Lexa began to play a song softly at first, but it grew louder as she lost herself into the rhythm. Clarke found herself staring at her, in total awe of her beauty. Her face had the same eager, focused expression that she had seen the day before when Lexa had showed her favorite flowers to her. She torn her eyes off of her and looked back at the blank canvas then took up her paintbrush and began to paint. She had found her inspiration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. More Clexa scenes to come :D


	6. Chapter 6

They had fallen into a pattern since that first day. Clarke would work in the studio, and Lexa would come in at some point to play the piano. Sometimes she would play sweeping songs that reverberated off the marble walls in a way that made Clarke feel like she was swimming in music. Other times, she would be working on a song, her fingers slowly picking at the notes, starting and stopping as she tried to gain familiarity with her new song. Her eyebrows furrowed with a focus that made Clarke’s heart leap.

            Clarke arrived at the estate and used the key Lexa had given her to let herself in the side entrance of the house. She went to the studio to begin working, trying to ignore her growing excitement at the idea of seeing Lexa again. Lexa must have had a meeting that day because it was well past noon before she stopped by the studio to check on Clarke.

            “Hey, how’s it going?” Lexa asked Clarke from the doorway. She spoke gently, trying to not alarm Clarke who was focused on her painting.

            Despite Lexa’s attempts, Clarke jumped slightly when she heard her voice. Lexa immediately looked apologetic.

            “Oh hi,” Clarke stammered, trying to regain her composure. It was always hard for her to be broken out of the focus she had while painting. “I’m alright. How are you?”

            “I’ve been stuck in meetings with Anya and my father all day. Apparently they think the company is going to go under.” Lexa rolled her eyes.

            “And you don’t think so?”

            “They always do this. Panic over every little dip in the market. It just leads to unnecessary stress, in my opinion. Our company’s survived for generations. I’m sure it’ll survive this. Anyways, I was going to go for a walk outside to stretch my legs. Care to join?”

            “I don’t know. I have to make progress on this painting for my employer. I’m worried she’s going to start thinking I never do work.” Clarke said in a serious voice, but her eyes twinkling playfully.

            “Hmm,” Lexa considered with an equally serious face. “I’ll put in a good word for you with her. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

            “She’s a bit of a tyrant. I’m not sure she’ll listen to you.”

            “Hey, I’m not a tyrant,” Lexa said, ending the game abruptly. She looked slightly offended.

            Clarke softened. “I know that. I was just joking. Let me just wash these brushes and I’ll join you.”

            Lexa narrowed her eyes at her as if to playfully warn her not to call her a tyrant again. Clarke blushed and made quick work of her washing. _God her face is too cute when she does that._

            They left the house, falling into a familiar silence as they took in the sights of the perfectly maintained landscape. There seemed to be a mutual understanding between them that they should spend time together. It felt natural in a way Clarke wouldn’t let herself dwell on. Ever since her conversation with Wells, she had buried her conscious thoughts about having feelings for Lexa and had decided to just go with it. They wandered somewhat aimlessly at first and soon found that they were at the entrance of the hedge maze.

            “Want to go inside?” Lexa asked.

            “Depends am I going to hopelessly lost inside it?”

            “You might,” came Lexa’s unhelpful reply. “But I certainly won’t.” She added after Clarke sent her an exasperated look. She started walking into the hedge maze, followed closely by Clarke.

            “Can I ask you something?” Clarke asked after they had been walking for a bit.

            “Of course.”

            “It’s just something I’ve been wondering for a while now. Don’t take it the wrong way.”

            Lexa looked at her curiously.

“I’ll do my best.” 

            “How are you so normal? Like when I would imagine what people who have ridiculous amounts of money would be like, I always kind of figured they would be completely disconnected from the real world. Do you know what I mean? Have I offended you?”

            “No of course not,” Lexa laughed. “I have to deal with those people at almost every social outing my father drags me to. I think Raven’s the real reason I come across as normal.”

            “Why is that?” Clarke asked, leaping on the opportunity to learn more information about Lexa and Raven’s dynamic. She had noticed a few days after working for Lexa that Raven actually lived in the house with her.

            “Raven and I have been friends since we had our first Taekwondo class together when we were six. I grew up at her house as much as I grew up here. My father never really approved that I was associated with the ‘lower class,’ but he wasn’t around to really put a stop to it.” She said in a voice that had a note of bitterness when she talked about her father’s disapproval. 

            “I think she would have been me with a stick the moment I started seeming pretentious,” Lexa added, immediately lightening the mood again.

            “Does she still do Taekwondo? I’ve noticed her brace, so I would think not, but she mentioned it when we had lunch together.”

            “Her injury makes it hard for her to do some things for sure. She mostly just helps me with the children’s classes.”

            “Can I ask what happened?” 

            “She was in an accident,” Lexa said vaguely.

            “I see. I’m sorry to pry. I was just wondering.” Clarke backpedaled.

            “Raven doesn’t like it when people talk about it. That’s all.” Lexa explained. “I brought her here to work for me after it happened. We almost never talk about it.”

            Clarke nodded and they fell silent again. Before long, they had reached the center of the maze where the tall hedges parted to reveal a circle fountain and wooden porch swing that was almost buried in a flower bed.

            “Wow,” Clarke gasped.

            “This hedge maze is Raven’s pet project. She told me she was always disappointed when she was younger and would come over that we didn’t have one. So, once she started working here, she set about building it.”

            “It’s so peaceful. She should be proud.”

            “Oh she is,” Lexa said with a chuckle.

They sat down on the porch swing to rest and watched the fountain bubble merrily.

“Can I ask you something?” Lexa asked after they had sat in comfortable silence for a while.

“That would seem only fair, given the number of questions I’ve asked you today.”

“How does a med-school dropout have the painting skills that you do? I doubt they taught you painting in med-school.”

“Fair question. I think I always wanted to be an artist and took a ton of classes in high school, but I could never really let myself think of it as a viable option. My mom was always pressuring me to become a doctor, and I liked the idea of helping people for a living so I went with it. But I always came back to art. Whenever I was stressed out in college, I would paint. It was the only time I was really happy.”

“Sounds like you were fun in college,” Lexa said playfully.

Clarke grimaced at the memory of herself in college.

“I really wasn’t. I spent almost all my time studying to get into med school.”

“It was brave of you to sacrifice all of the effort you put into getting into med-school to follow your passions.”

“I wouldn’t call it brave. I had a breakdown and literally could not go to class. If it hadn’t been for my best friend offering me a place to crash while I figured things out, I don’t know where I would have ended up.”

“Still, it must have been hard for you to reach the decision that you weren’t ever going to go back.”

“It was, and my mom really didn’t help with that. To be honest, it feels like I’ve failed in some way. Like I’m not helping the people I could be helping if I was a doctor.”

Clarke’s ability to be honest with Lexa surprised her, but it was hard to not be completely open. Lexa listened with a dedication that almost rivaled Wells’.

“Art helps people too,” Lexa said kindly.

“Maybe, but I doubt if you were bleeding out you would be so quick to tell me how help art is.” Clarke said bitterly.

This conversation had stirred up old emotions that only ever came out when she talked with her mother. She quickly buried those emotions, confident that Lexa didn’t really want her to start ranting about her mother. Lexa looked at her strangely.

“Why would I be bleeding out in front of you?”

“You never know. These things happen. One day you could just walk into a room and bam, you get hit by a random bullet.”

 Lexa looked incredulously at Clarke who was trying to hide a small smile.

“Why would there be bullets? What kind of world do you think we live in?”

She looked so distressed that Clarke burst out laughing.

“You’re being weird, Clarke,” Lexa said.

“Ugh I know. Sorry. I was trying to add some humor because I don’t really want to talk about dropping out of med-school.” Clarke said, her heart pounding. She felt foolish and confident that Lexa was soon going to conclude that their friendship should come to an abrupt close.

“We can talk about something else then. Like how are we going to get out of this maze?” Lexa said and stood up to look at the four places the hedges parted to reveal a pathway.

“I thought you said you could keep us from getting lost!” Clarke said and shot up from her seat.

“Did I say that?” Lexa said, looking innocent.

“Yes, you did. How are we supposed to get out of here now?”

“You got this, Clarke,” Lexa said unhelpfully.

When Clarke realized that Lexa wasn’t going to help her, she shot her a glare then tried to remember which pathway they had come from. Lexa watched her think, looking amused. Clarke took a step towards the pathway she thought would lead them back and gave Lexa a question look. Lexa only shrugged her shoulders, smile widening. Clarke moved towards another pathway, and Lexa gave her another look.

“Now you’re just messing with me,” Clarke complained. She didn’t really mind the extra time she would get to spend with Lexa if she got lost, but she was worried about embarrassing herself by getting them completely lost.

“Yes I am, and I’m enjoying it immensely.”

They wandered around the hedge maze for almost half an hour before Lexa caved and showed Clarke the way out. By the time they emerged, laughing and sweaty from the exertion, it was time for Clarke to head back home. Lexa always let her leave early enough to beat the worst part of traffic. Clarke didn’t stop smiling the entire drive home.

                                                      ***

            When she got home, Clarke in such a good mood that she decided to use that energy to clean the apartment. Thus, by the time Wells got home, she pushed all the chairs from the kitchen table into the hallway and draped the rug they put under the table over it so that she could mop the kitchen floors.

            “What the hell is happening in here?” Wells called out as he tried to open the door which was blocked by Clarke’s unintentional barricade.

He forced his way through the door, knocking a chair over in the process. He clambered over the rest of the chairs until he reached where Clarke was mopping in the kitchen. She had been listening to music on her phone, so she didn’t hear his rumbustious entrance.

“Hi, Wells,” she said when she noticed him, removing one of her ear buds from her ear.

“Hey,” Wells said without his usual enthusiasm.

“Is everything okay?” She asked.

Wells sat down on one of the chairs in the hallway and dropped his bag beside him.

“Not really.”

Clarke leaned her mop on the table then turned off her music and quickly went to his side.

“What’s going on, bud?” She asked, sitting down on the ground next to his chair.

“The fucking school board canceled funding for the poetry competition I was going to have for the kids next week. How am I supposed to convince them that English is important when the school board doesn’t even seem to think so?” He asked in a defeated voice and dug at the ground with his toe.

“How could they do that? You’ve been planning that competition for months now.”

Wells just shrugged his shoulders.

“They needed money for one of the sports teams to go to the national championships, so they took it. There was nothing I could say to convince them not to.”

“That’s so stupid. What did the kids say when you told them? I’m sure they were really upset.”

“I haven’t told them yet. I think I’m still in denial about the whole thing. It’s so fucked up. Some of those kids have been preparing their pieces since last semester. I had even convinced Tris to read some of her own poetry.”

“Well, maybe you can raise the money yourself? How much can it really cost to run a poetry competition?”

            “Let’s see. We need to buy trophies, print pamphlets and posters, book a venue, hire someone to run the sound system, and pay for the judges’ lunches. I had promised the winners that they would get to go a trip to the city and watch live poetry slam, but I guess I can tell them that that’s canceled.”

            “Maybe the kids’ parents can help do bake sales? Car washes?” Clarke suggested.

Wells looked so upset that she would have offered to pay for it herself, but she still hadn’t gotten her first check from Lexa yet—the money she had gotten from the waterfall painting went directly towards their rent.

“Most of these kids’ parents work two jobs and are lucky if they both get to see their kids before they have to go to bed. I can’t ask them for money or their time.”

“Why don’t we rest on it, okay? I’m sure we can come up with a solution tomorrow.” Clarke said and stood up. She offered Wells her hand to help pull him up from this chair.

“Let’s watch a movie and try to cheer you up. No one comes up with good ideas when they’re stressed out.” She said and pulled him up.

Wells wordlessly complied and they were soon on the couch watching his favorite movie. Once she was sure that Wells was focused on the movie, Clarke pulled out her phone and sent a text to Lexa.

**5:32 PM Clarke Griffin:**

Hey can I ask you a slightly inappropriate question?

            It was only after she had sent the message that she realized how weird it would sound out of context, but decided not to double text and make it more awkward than it needed to be. _Fuck. Okay, Lexa don’t take that too weirdly._ She tried to focus on the movie to help pass the time while she waited for Lexa to respond.

**6:47 PM Lexa Woods:**

Um… okay?

            Clarke leaped at her phone when it buzzed. Ignoring Wells’ inquisitive look, she typed out a reply that would clear the air.

**6:47 PM Clarke Griffin:**

Sorry if this is weird for me to ask you. You can totally say no, but a friend of mine was going to hold a poetry competition next week when all his funding got cut. Any chance you can help us out? We would totally pay you back once we got the money. It was just really short notice.

**6:48 PM Lexa Woods:**

I see.

Should be fine. Can you give me more details about it tomorrow?

**6:48 PM Clarke Griffin:**

Yes of course! You would be making his year by doing this. Thank you so much.

**6:51 PM Lexa Woods:**

Always happy to help random strangers.

**6:52 PM Clarke Griffin:**

You’re the best. See you tomorrow.

**6:54 PM Lexa Woods:**

J

            Clarke sat up and paused the movie. Wells looked at her stunned and slightly angry that she had stopped his favorite movie. His anger quickly melted away when she told him what Lexa had said. They spent the rest of the night figuring out all the details of the competition so that Clarke could completely sell it to Lexa tomorrow.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the delay in updates, I've been in the process of moving. I should have more regular updates in the future.

Clarke got to the estate earlier than she usually did. Wells had insisted that she get there as soon as possible to find out if Lexa was really going to lend them money for the poetry competition. At the time she had assured him that it would be fine because the amount of money they were asking for meant nothing to people like Lexa, but as she walked from her car to the house, she began to feel nervous.

            “Gustus, where can I find Lexa?” She asked as soon as she got into the house and saw Gustus who was sitting in the parlor, polishing a set of ceremonial swords that usually hung over the mantle.

            “Ms. Woods is in her office,” he informed her then went back to his task.

            “Thanks!” She said cheerfully, but he was too caught up in his task to respond then rushed down the hallway to Lexa’s office.

            As she approached the door, she heard two voices having a heated conversation inside. She paused to listen outside, trying to see if it was a conversation that she could briefly interrupt to talk about Wells’ event. As she leaned closer to the door, she realized that the two voices were Lexa’s and Raven’s—and they were talking about her.

            “What do you even know about this girl?” Clarke heard Raven say.

            “I know her well enough. Why are you making this such a big deal?” Lexa snapped back.

            “Do I really need to tell you? God, Lex. Do you just give money to any pretty girl that bats her eyes at you?”

            “First of all Raven, it’s my money and I’ll do whatever I want with it. And secondly, it’s barely any money. Why should it matter?”

            “You’re missing the point. This is just what Clarke does—she takes whatever she wants from people. She’s using you. Yeah, today it’s a small amount of money, but tomorrow it’ll be a little more and then a little more.”

            _Is that really what she thinks of me?_ Clarke felt hurt. _Does Lexa believe her?_ She wanted to stop listening, but couldn’t tear herself away.

            “You have no way of knowing that that’s what she’s going to do. Just because you don’t like her, doesn’t mean I have to hate her.”

            “I cannot believe you are defending her! You’re supposed to be my best friend. It’s bad enough that you hired the girl Finn cheated on me with, but now you’re defending her character to me?”

            “Of course you’re my best friend, but you have no way of knowing who initiated what happened between her and Finn. She says that he didn’t tell her about you.”

            “And you just believe her? Don’t you see this is a problem? You’re just blindly hanging off every word she says.”

            “I trust her.”

              “Why?”

            Clarke heard Lexa sigh and then there was a brief moment of silence between the two. Clarke found her heart was pounding. _Lexa is defending me._

            “Well?” Raven said impatiently.

            “I just do, Raven,” Lexa responded flatly.

            “You trust everyone you sleep with. Is that what it is?”

            Clarke blushed. _So Raven knows._

            “Do you really think I’m so naïve?” Lexa said, her voice low and dangerous.

            “I don’t know what to think about this whole situation. You bring her here as if it means nothing to me. You let her work in Costia’s studio as if it was meant nothing to you. You give her money as if we can trust her. None of that makes me think you’re thinking straight. She has you so wrapped up around her finger that you can’t even see it.”

            “She’s here because Anya wanted to hire her. I’m trying to move on from Costia—something you encouraged me to do. Is that so wrong?”

 _Is that a tremor in Lexa’s voice? Move on from Costia? Wasn’t she just the artist?_ Clarke furrowed her brow, confused, and continued to listen.

“There’s a right way and a wrong way to move on. Blindly trusting a girl you barely know is not the right way.” Raven said in a gentler voice than before.

“You don’t get to tell me what’s the right way to move on.”

Raven paused, seemingly considering what Lexa had said then continued, “You’re right. Maybe that’s what you need to move on right now, but can’t you at least understand why it’s concerning for me to see you do this?”

“You’re a good friend, Raven. I do see your side. I just know that Clarke’s different. She’s not trying to swindle money from me, but if you’re really this concerned when she gets here I’ll make it very clear that she shouldn’t ask me for money again. Sound good?”

“I’ll take what I can get.” There was a pause and some movement in the room. Clarke thought they might be hugging. “Please be careful. She’s not Costia. No matter how much you want her to be.”

“I’m not trying to find another Costia. I am trying to move on. Trust me.”

“Of course I trust you. Alright, I’ve got to go. Weather report said there’s a big storm coming through. I have to get the house prepared for the worse. Let me know how it goes with Clarke later.”

“I will.”

Clarke realized very quickly that the conversation was coming to a close and that Raven was going to be opening the door she was pressed up against any minute now. She did a light jog away from the door then began walking as calmly as she could manage back to it. Raven emerged almost as soon as she had reached it again.

“Good morning,” Clarke greeted Raven who ignored her and walked past her. _Alright then._

Clarke knocked on Lexa’s door then poked her head in. Lexa looked surprised to see her.

“Clarke? Isn’t it a bit early?” Lexa asked. She looked tired and her eyes seemed a little red. _Had she been crying? What did Raven say before I got there?_

“I guess it is. I just wanted to talk with you before I start work. Wouldn’t want this to cut into my hours.”

“Of course. Uh, please sit down. We have a lot to talk about.” Lexa waited for her to sit before continuing. “It’s highly unorthodox for you to be asking me for money. I hope you understand that.”

“I do understand that. Really I do. It’s just such a big deal to Wells and I—“ Lexa held up her hand, and Clarke stopped speaking.

“Is this something you intend to keep doing?”

“No. Honestly. This is a once in a life time occurrence.”

“Very well. How much do you need?”

“About five hundred. I have a list here of all the expenses.” Clarke handed her the list she and Wells had worked on the night before. Lexa took it from her then skimmed over it.

“I’ll look through this more carefully and decide if I’ll give you your check by the end of the day. You can pay me back when you have the funds. Sound fair?”

“Very,” Clarke breathed. She couldn’t wait to tell Wells.

“I have only one request. Raven and I will be attending the competition. I’m sure that’s something you can arrange?”

            Clarke looked at her, a bit stunned, then said, “Yeah definitely, but are you sure you want to come? It’s just a bunch of little kids reading poetry.”

            “That sounds great. I’m sure Raven will really benefit from the experience.”

_Oh I see. You’re using this to prove to Raven that you were right._

            “I’ll let Wells know to expect you. Thank you again for this.”

            “Don’t thank me quite yet,” Lexa said, gesturing to the list Clarke had given her.

            “Right. Well, I’ll let you read through that and get to work.”

            She stood up and walked from the office. Lexa gave her a small nod to say goodbye then turned to her work. Clarke went to her studio and sent Wells a quick text to let him know that everything was probably going to be okay. He responded with eight smiley faces. She smiled then turned to her painting. It was finally starting to look like something, but she really needed to make more progress on it. _That’ll prove to Raven that I’m not just here to get money from Lexa._ She quickly got wrapped up in the process of streaking paint across the canvas, slowly bringing the image in her mind’s eye into reality.

            A loud thunder clap torn her from her painting, hours later. She jumped and quickly looked around the room. Outside, the sky had grown black and rain had started to pour down. The wind howled angrily and slammed tree branches against the floor to ceiling windows. A flash of lightning filled the room followed closely by a thunder clap. Clarke put down her paint brush and went to the windows to try to close the curtains. As she was approaching the windows, another lightning bolt struck nearby, shattering one of the windows in the room. Clarke staggered back, the glass fragments scattered throughout the room. The wind began to blow the rain into the room. Clarke pulled the curtains closed to prevent more rain from getting inside then went to the hallway to get help.

            As she reached the hallway, she heard another thunderclap and the lights in the hallway flickered out. Clarke pulled out her phone and turned on its flashlight. She made her way carefully down the hall to Lexa’s office.

            “Clarke? Is that you?” Lexa called out in the darkness.

            Clarke shined her flashlight at her, causing Lexa to blink furiously.

            “Yeah, it’s me. Are you alright?”

            Lexa nodded, then pushed Clarke’s hand to the side so she was no longer shining the light into her eyes. Clarke’s hand tingled at the skin to skin contact. Lexa seemed to notice it too because she quickly put distance between her and Clarke.

            “We have to find Raven and Gustus. They were outside preparing the house for the storm.”

            “Where should we start?”

            “No idea,” Lexa said and they continued walking down the hallway.

            “Great. Also, one of the windows in the art studio shattered. I closed the curtain to stop the rain from getting in.”

            “Wait, are you alright?” Lexa turned toward her and gave her a quick once-over, searching for damage.

            “I’m fine,” Clarke said and Lexa looked relieved. _I wonder if she knows I can see how happy she looks that I’m not injured_.

            “I should have asked. I’m sorry.”

            Clarke was about to speak when they heard someone calling out in the distance.

            “Lexa! Can you hear me? Get over here, right now!”

            “That’s Raven. We need to go, now.”

Lexa took Clarke’s hand and pulled her along as she ran down the hall towards where Raven had been called. They reached Raven in a few minutes. She was crouched on the ground near the back door. As Clarke shined her flashlight on her, she realized she was crouching over someone’s body. Lexa ran to Raven’s side and knelt beside her.

“Gustus. What happened?” Lexa asked Raven when she saw the large man’s body lying on the ground. He had a bloody wound on his temple.

“We were finishing up outside when the storm hit. A huge gust of wind knocked a tree branch off and it hit him. He’s out cold. I did my best to drag him inside carefully.”

Clarke joined the two of them and examined Gustus’ wound. _Doesn’t look too bad_. She looked at Lexa to report the good news, but look on Lexa’s face startled her. Her eyes were fixed on Gustus’ body and filled with pure terror, as if she had already assumed the worst about him.

“Hey,” Clarke said, getting Lexa to snap her eyes back to her, “I think he’s going to be okay. We just need to get him a cold rag and try to clean his wound.”

Lexa nodded, but didn’t respond. She also didn’t move when Clarke and Raven stood up to start moving Gustus’ body.

“Lex? Did you hear Clarke? He’s going to be fine.” Raven said and nudged Lexa gently.

Lexa stared at Gustus with wide eyes for a minute more than broke out of her trance. She wordlessly stood up and began to help them drag his body towards the kitchen. It took all of their combined effort to move a man of Gustus’ mass down the hallway and get him propped up against the wall in the kitchen. Clarke got a kitchen rag and began cleaning Gustus’ face. Lexa dropped down to the ground in the corner and hugged her legs up to her chest. Raven went to comfort her. Clarke could only hear Raven talking—Lexa’s responses were too quiet.

“He’s going to be fine, Lexa,” Clarke heard Raven say.

“Because that’s what Clarke said. You trust her, right?” Raven said after Lexa whispered something.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this either, but Clarke’s got this.” She said after another Lexa whisper.

Clarke smiled at that comment. She continued working on cleaning up Gustus. After a while, his eyes started to flutter. He opened them with a groan.

“Lexa, Raven, he’s awake!” Clarke called them over. Lexa darted to her side faster than she thought was possible.

“Gustus? Are you alright?” She asked, her hand gently touched his wound.

“I am fine, Ms. Woods. Just a scratch.” He said groggily.

“You scared the shit out of us,” Raven said.

“Sorry about that, little one,” Gustus said to Raven, using his nickname for her.

He began to try to stand then swayed. Lexa jumped to help him.

“Careful, Gustus,” she warned.

“I just need to lie down,” he said and began walking from the room in unsteady steps.

“I’ll help you get to your room,” she said, draping his arm around her shoulders.

Clarke and Raven watched them leave then suddenly realized they were alone together. An awkward silence filled the room, broken only by the storm raging outside. Clarke began to wash the blood from the rag she had used to clean Gustus’ wound to give herself something to do. When she had finished, she turned around to find Raven working to open a bottle of liquor.

“Hand me a glass, will you?” Raven asked her, gesturing to the cabinet by the sink.

Clarke grabbed two and joined Raven where she was sitting on the floor. The kitchen was one of the only common rooms that didn’t have large windows, so it was probably their safest option to take refuge in. Raven filled both of their glasses then leaned against the wall, sipping her drink slowly. They sat there in silence, slowly intoxicating themselves until Lexa returned.

“He should be alright. I put him in bed.” Lexa said when she got back. “That could have been a lot worse.”

“But it wasn’t. Grab a glass. We’re drinking to pass the time until the power gets back on.” Raven said and raised her glass towards Lexa.

“Whose idea was that?” Lexa asked, raising an eyebrow. “I’ll join you in a second.”

She opened the cabinet under the sink and began to pull out candles. By the time she finished removing them, Clarke counted almost twenty. Lexa placed them around the room, lighting them with a match as she worked. Soon the room filled with gentle candlelight. After she was finished, she grabbed a glass from the cabinet and sat down next to Raven who poured her some of the liquor.

“I told you we needed to get a new backup generator,” Raven said after Lexa had settled in.

“I was just waiting for you to bring that up,” Lexa said with a sigh and took a drink from her glass.

“I’m just saying this whole mess would have been avoided if you had listened to me.”

“Raven, you come to me practically every day with a list of things I should buy for the house. If I listened to all of them, we’d be bankrupt by now.”

“That’s not true,” Raven grumbled. “You hired me as your groundskeeper. That’s what I’m trying to do.”

“You’re doing a great job. I just can’t comply with all your demands. I’ll be sure to get the backup generator as soon as this is over, though.”

“Damn right,” Raven said then finished the contents of her glass. She poured another one for herself. “How about we play a little game of truth or shot, to pass the time?”

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” Lexa said warily, glancing at Clarke.

“How does that game work?” Clarke asked.

“It’s simple. We go around the room, asking each other questions. If you don’t want to answer, you take a shot. Here I’ll go first.” Raven said then took a big gulp of her liquor.

“Raven…” Lexa said.

“Relax, Lex. It’ll be fun.” Raven said then turned to Clarke. “Hey Clarke, how long were you screwing my boyfriend?”

Clarke blinked at her in the candlelight.

“Come on, answer the question. I thought you wanted us to be friends. Isn’t that what you said when we met? We’re trying to play a game here, friend.”

“Raven. This isn’t helping anything.” Lexa said uncomfortably.

Clarke took a sip of her drink then said, “No it’s fine. No, it’s fine. Maybe if you know the truth, you’ll stop hating me for it. Finn and I were dating for six months. We broke up almost five weeks ago.”

“So you met what in what October? Fantastic.” Raven finished her glass and filled it again. After she recovered from the offensive burn of the liquor, she asked Clarke another question in a pained voice.  “Do you know what we dressed as for that Halloween? Bonnie and Clyde. Everyone thought we had the best couple’s costume.” She let out a bitter laugh. “Were you wondering why he didn’t make plans with you or did you just not care enough to ask?”

“He said he had to work,” Clarke said lamely.

“Yeah work on keeping me placated while he fucked you behind my back,” Raven said hollowly and drained her glass again.

“I don’t think you’re playing this game correctly,” Lexa said then took Raven’s glass away from her. They wrestled for a moment before Raven gave up.

“I’m playing it fine,” she said dismissively. The alcohol began to slur her voice. “Okay, Clarke your turn. Ask one of us a question.”

Clarke looked from Lexa to Raven, deciding who would be safer to ask questions.

“How did you find out about me?” She asked Raven then immediately regretted it because of the look on her face.  

“Like two weeks ago.  He told me himself. Said he was in love with you. I didn’t believe him, so he showed me pictures of you two together just to drive his point home. I haven’t spoken to him since.”

Raven took a swing directly from the bottle before Lexa tore that away from her too. Lexa sent an apologetic look to Clarke. Clarke sent her a small smile, trying to let her know she was alright having this conversation with Raven.

“It’s my turn again,” Raven slurred, shaking the burn of the liquor off. “Clarke again: did you love him?”

“Yes,” Clarke said in a half whisper. “But I don’t anymore. He played both of us. You have to know I didn’t do this to you on purpose. I broke up with him as soon as I found out about you. Why do you hate me?”

“Because I don’t know how to hate him,” she said in a choked voice then leaned her head against the wall. “Ughhh, I’m so drunk now.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Lexa said as she gently transferred Raven’s head from the wall to her lap. She stroked her friend’s hair carefully.

“It’s mine. But I feel great. You know the room is spinning? Wheee!” Raven giggled, her previous sadness forgotten.

Lexa smiled down at her. “Is it now? Are you going to be sick?”

“No, I’m just going to nap now,” Raven said with a yawn then turned on her side. Within seconds she was slumbering away with her head on Lexa’s lap.

Lexa waited until she was completely asleep to begin speaking. “I’m sorry she asked you those questions. It can’t be easy to talk about Finn.”

“I’m sure it’s easier for me than for her. I’ve had weeks to get over him. I didn’t realize they had only broken up two weeks ago. How long were they together?”

“As long as I’ve known Raven, Finn has been with her. They didn’t start dating until high school, though. I still can’t believe he would do this to her.”

“Will she ever forgive me?” Clarke asked, looking at Raven’s sleeping form.

“I think so, with time. It’s still so fresh. I actually think having you here will help her. She needs to realize that you’re not the one she should hate. Once she can find a way to transfer her hatred from you to Finn, she can start to move on. For now, I think she still loves him.”

“Is that what you did? When Costia left?”

Lexa’s jaw clenched. “Why would you ask that?”

            “Sorry. I just assumed Costia was the person you said left you when we first met.”

            “She did, but I don’t hate her for it.”

            Clarke looked at her strangely. “By your previous logic, does that mean you still love her?”

            “Can you love the dead?” Lexa asked in a whisper that Clarke could barely hear over the storm.

            Clarke’s eyes widened with realization. _Costia didn’t leave Lexa. She died._

            “Lexa, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

            “I meant to tell you. It’s just… I can barely say the words, even after three years.”

            “Do you want me to stop asking you about her?” Clarke asked gently.

            Lexa paused, considering, then said, “No. I want you to know about her.”

            “What was she like?”

            “She was very beautiful and vibrant. She approached everything in life with so much fervor and passion that it constantly left me speechless. She was always blasting her music at full volume in the studio while she painted. It used to drive Anya mad. After she died, the house was so silent. The whole estate seemed empty without her.”

            “And do I remind you of her?” Clarke knew she had to ask.

            Lexa looked at her as if to double check then said, “Not really. She was loud in all the ways you are quiet. And quiet in all the ways that you are loud. If that makes sense.”

            Clarke nodded slightly, somewhat sure of what Lexa was saying. “Then why did you hire me?”

            “You’re an excellent artist, Clarke. Why wouldn’t I hire you?”

            “So it has nothing to do with Costia or the fact that we slept together?”

            “I’m at a point where I’m ready to start moving on from Costia. I thought I would do that by starting to replace her collection, so I hired you. But not because we slept together. I hardly remember that we did that.”

            Clarke blushed, remembering that night again. _There’s no way you don’t remember that._

            “You don’t remember that?” She asked before she knew what she was doing. The alcohol she had had was starting to affect her restraint.

            “I want us to be friends, Clarke. That would be difficult if I dwelt on the night we had together.”

            “Just friends?” Clarke muttered, daring Lexa to respond.

            Their eyes met in the candlelight. They held their stare for what felt like hours. Outside, the storm worsened, filling the room with noise that would have drowned out what either of them would have said. Lexa moved her hand from Raven’s head towards Clarke’s. Slowly, as if she wasn’t quite sure what she was doing, she interlaced her fingers with Clarke’s. They both looked down at their interwoven hands, barely daring to breath.   

              


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I recently started a new job and have had trouble finding the time. Hope you enjoy!

Clarke carefully shifted her weight where she sat on the floor. She moved gently, as if afraid that sudden movements would draw Lexa’s attention and she would realize that they were still holding hands. It had been almost an hour now that they had been sitting silently like this. An hour without conversation, just comfortable silence. The storm howled outside, showing no signs of stopping. Raven slept peacefully on Lexa’s lap, completely unaware of what Clarke and Lexa were doing.

            _What are we doing?_

Clarke felt Lexa shift as well. _Her legs must be entirely asleep at this point. Does that not bother her?_ She had wanted to stand for a while now, but she didn’t want to let go of Lexa’s hand. That had seemed that the right idea twenty minutes ago, but after sitting almost an hour on the floor her whole back and legs had begun to throb with a dull pain. At last, she decided she couldn’t take it anymore and began to stand up. Lexa started as if woken from a dream and immediately released her hand.

            “Sorry, I just need to stretch my back,” Clarke said. _Why did I apologize to her?_ “Isn’t yours aching too?”

            It was such a casual way to break their hour long silence after Lexa had taken her hand. The casualness of it seemed to startle Lexa who didn’t really look like she noticed she was in any kind of pain at all.

            “I don’t want to wake Raven,” she said in a quieter voice than Clarke.

            “Yeah she really passed out quickly,” Clarke said, lowering her voice to match Lexa’s volume.

            Lexa looked down at her sleeping friend and brushed a strand of hair that had fallen across her face.

            “She hasn’t really been sleeping since Finn left.”

            Clarke grimaced at Finn’s name and looked down at Raven with a furrowed brow. “Do you think she’ll ever forgive me for that?”

            Lexa paused and considered her question before beginning slowly to speak. “I think she knows you didn’t really have anything to do with what happened between her and Finn. She just needs to find a way to forgive herself for trusting him.”

            “I can understand that. I mean. That’s kind of what I had to do to a much lesser degree.” Clarke said as she leaned back on the countertop across from Lexa.

            Lexa nodded then squeezed Raven’s shoulder. Outside, a bolt of lightning struck, briefly illuminating the room. Clarke thought she saw traces of tears glint in Lexa’s eyes.

            “He was everything to her. Her mom was an emotionally distant alcoholic and her dad left before she was born. He was all she really had.” Lexa said then clenched her jaw.

            Clarke looked at her curiously. “But she has you, right?”

            Lexa took a deep breath and furrowed her brow, eyes still fixed on Raven’s face.

            “I’m not much to have,” she said in a half whisper.

            “Come on. There’s no way Raven thinks that. You guys have been friends for forever. That’s what you told me, right?” Clarke said, too curious not to pry further.

            “You’re forgetting that you haven’t known me very long, Clarke. Yes, Raven and I are friends, but she understands an aspect of my personality that I wouldn’t expect you to.” Lexa said curtly.

            “And what aspect is that?” Clarke asked. She had actually forgotten she hadn’t known Lexa very long.

            Lexa looked at her with a deadened expression in her eyes. “Do you really want to know?”

            Clarke smiled at her gently. “Of course I do.”

            _I want to know everything about you._

            “Why?” Lexa asked, in a slightly hostile voice.

            “I want us to be friends,” Clarke said, internally referencing their previous conversation. She said down beside Lexa and held her hand again. _Wells is going to high-five me for that level of boldness._ “Please, tell me. I really want to know.”

            Lexa looked at her hesitantly then looked away. Clarke noticed she didn’t try to take her hand back. Instead, she leaned back on the wall behind her and closed her eyes.

            “It’s just. I’m not consistently present enough to be a good person to depend on. Ever since she left. I’ll wake up and not be able to function. I just disappear from the house. I’ll just get in the car and drive until I get bored then I’ll find a place to drink. Find someone else to sleep with to numb her memory.” Lexa said in a monotone voice.

            “Does it help? Numb her memory, I mean.” Clarke asked before she could stop herself.

            “When it does, I hate myself for forgetting her. And when it doesn’t, well, I’m right where I was before.” She opened her eyes and looked at Clarke. “You must think I’m a total mess.”

            “I think you have a right to be. And trying to find a way to cope with your pain doesn’t make you a bad friend.” Clarke said, repeating words she had told herself for years after her father had died.

            Lexa let out a bitter snort. “Doesn’t it though?”

            “No, it doesn’t,” Clarke said firmly. “And I’m sure Raven doesn’t think that about you.”

            “She does, though. I’m selfish and never put her first. Hell, I hired you even after I knew you would probably cause her pain. I know I should find a way to help her deal with what Finn did, but I can’t find a way to really process how bad it is. I just keep thinking, ‘At least he didn’t die.’ I’m pretty sure that qualifies me a shitty friend.” Lexa’s voice choked with emotion.

            “I think it qualifies you as someone who’s been through a lot,” Clarke said. She hesitated slightly before beginning again. “You’re not a shitty friend, Lexa. You’re just been hurt in a way that Raven can’t understand. I think Raven knows you’re doing your best.”

            “Thank you. For saying that. I really wish you were right, but I can’t make myself believe that.” Lexa said in a hollow voice, but she still sent Clarke a small smile that made her heart leap.

            “Maybe someday you will,” Clarke said and gave her hand a little squeeze.

            Lexa looked at their interlocked hands for the first time that night and muttered in a barely audible tone. “Maybe someday.”

            They fell back into silence, neither of them barely daring to breathe. Then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do, Clarke began to move her thumb to gently caress the top of Lexa’s hand. When Lexa didn’t move her hand away, she became bolder and moved her thumb to carefully trace the outline of Lexa’s. Without saying anything or giving any indication that she realized what she was doing, Lexa also began to move her thumb to trace the lines on Clarke’s palm. Their two thumbs met twirled around each other slowly.   

            Lexa smiled slightly, but her smile had a sad tone to it. She looked away from their hands and back down at Raven who was still sleeping soundly on her lap.

            “Alright, I think it’s about time we moved her to her room,” she said in a normal voice, clearly trying to move on from the moment she and Clarke had just shared.

            Clarke blinked at her, stunned by the sudden shift in tone. Her heart was pounding. This whole night felt surreal.  

            Lexa stood up and shook the stiffness from her limbs then knelt down to pick up Raven. She lifted her with ease and gestured at Clarke to open the door. Clarke quickly completed her task and marveled as Lexa walked by her carrying Raven in her arms.  She shone her flashlight ahead of them as they navigated the halls to Raven’s room. It was in a part of the house that Clarke had never been to before, but Lexa’s instructions got them there easily.

            After she put Raven in her room, Lexa closed the door softly and leaned against it, facing Clarke. Outside the storm continued to rage, filling the hallway where they stood with its noise. The exhaustion of the day had begun to wear on Clarke, and she yawned. Lexa yawned shortly after her then pushed herself off of the door she had been leaning on. In a slow, hesitant way, she reached for Clarke’s hand as she began walking down the hallway. Clarke allowed herself to be pulled along with her, not daring to ask what Lexa was doing. Her heart was pounding in her chest.

            Lexa led the two of them a short way down the hall then stopped outside of a room. She turned the knob and opened the door a little then looked at Clarke.

           “I think I’m just going to go to bed,” she said.

           Clarke nodded and let go of her hand, feeling disappointed to have to leave Lexa’s side. As she turned to leave, Lexa spoke again.

           “Would you? Stay with me?” She asked, tears welling in her eyes again. “I can never sleep when we talk about her.”

           “Yes,” Clarke breathed, her heart in her throat.

           Lexa looked at her wondrously as if she didn’t believe that Clarke would actually have agreed to her request. She swung her door open and removed her shoes then flopped down on her bed. Clarke closed the door then followed suit. As soon as she was on the bed, she pulled Lexa into a tight hug. Lexa melted into her side and buried her face in Clarke’s neck. 

           “You’re a good friend, Clarke,” she whispered.

           “So are you,” Clarke whispered back.

           Lexa didn’t respond and was soon fast asleep, still pressed up against Clarke. Clarke closed her eyes, but couldn’t sleep. Her mind was racing. _Is this going to change everything between us? Is she going to regret this when she wakes up? Is she just trying to replace Costia or does she really want me?_

           She gritted her teeth at that last thought. That was definitely going to have to be a conversation they were going to have. _But for a later time._ She decided as she glanced down at Lexa’s sleeping face.  

                                                                                   ***

            When Clarke woke the next morning, Lexa was gone from the bed. Feeling somewhat disappointed at Lexa’s absence, she sat up with a groan and rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes. The storm had finally stopped at some point during the night and the sun shone brightly through the large bay window in Lexa’s room. It glinted off of some picture frames that were propped up on the chest of drawers by the bed. Curious, Clarke got up to go look at them.

             As she looked from picture to picture, Clarke found herself smiling. They seemed to have trapped a different, better world within their golden frames. There was a picture of Lexa in her Taekwondo uniform surrounded by several beaming children that were proudly holding up their broken boards. Lexa herself looked equally as proud. There was another of Raven in mid-cackle while Lexa was burying her face behind her hair in shame. They both looked so much younger in this picture. _I wonder if Costia took this one?_

            “Getting nice and cozy here, aren’t you?” Raven asked from the doorway.

            Her voice made Clarke jump. She spun to face her. “Jesus, Raven. You scared the crap out of me.” She said in an annoyed voice that was really just trying to cover up her embarrassment at being caught snooping around Lexa’s room.

            “Didn’t realize I needed to knock before entering my best friend’s room. Hang a sock on the door next time.” Raven said, her eyes were blazing.

            “That’s not what happened here,” Clarke said. “We were just sleeping.”

            “Whatever, I don’t need the details. Where is she?” Raven said and crossed her arms.

            “I don’t know,” Clarke said lamely, unable to think of what she could say to make Raven hate her less in that moment.

            “Cool. Great talk as always.” Raven said and disappeared from the doorway.

            “Raven, wait,” Clarke called after her, but Raven didn’t stop. _Fuck. I seriously need to work on making her hate me less_.

            Clarke pulled on her shoes and went to go find Lexa. While she was walking down the stairs, she pulled out her phone to check her messages and saw that she had 15 missed calls from Wells. _Oh shit. I forgot to tell him I was staying here._ She quickly tapped his contact to call him and sat on the stairs while she waited for him to pick up. He picked up after 3 rings.

            “Clarke? Are you okay?” He asked before she could say anything.

            Clarke smiled at his endearing earnestness. “I’m fine, Wells. I just stayed at Lexa’s because the storm was too bad to drive back in. I’m sorry I forgot to tell you.”

            “It’s alright. I just thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere.” He said in a somewhat grumpy tone.

            “I’m not dead. I was just caught up in… things.”

            “Like Lexa things?” He asked, his grumpiness vanishing.

            “Maybe,” Clarke said, drawing out the word to add to the suspense. “I’ll tell you about it when I get home.”

            “That’s not going to be for a while though. Haven’t you seen the news? The storm knocked over a bunch of trees and the highway’s a mess.”

            “I had no idea it was so bad. Are you and the twins alright?” 

            “Yeah we’re alright. Jasper and Monty are actually here. The storm took them by surprise too and they got stranded here.”

            “There are worse places to be stranded,” Clarke said with a laugh. Knowing those boys, they’d just play video games the whole day and barely notice the destruction the storm had caused. “How did this happen? The storm wasn’t supposed to be this bad.”

            “It hit a warm front coming up the coast or something. Thank you, global climate change.”

            “What are you talking about, Wells. That’s not real. Haven’t you heard anything our friends on Fox News tells us?” Clarke joked.

            “Ah well, unfortunately, I don’t believe a word those people say so my statement stands.” Wells countered smoothly.

            “What? Do you only listen to scientists or something? That’s crazy.”

            “I know. Such a strange concept.” Wells said with a sarcastic laugh.  “Anyways, I’ll let you go. I’m glad you’re alright.”

            “I’m glad you’re alright too. Sorry again for not texting.”  

            “No worries, see you soon. Hopefully Jasper, Monty, and I won’t have killed each other after been trapped together for so long by the time you get here.” He said mock grimness.

            “Best of luck!” Clarke said, and Wells hung up.

            She remained sitting on the stairs, trying to think of where Lexa might be, but the sheer size of the estate was too daunting to her. With a new goal in mind, she headed down the stairs to the kitchen to scrounge for breakfast.

            Unfortunately, that seemed to be the exact same thing that Raven had decided to do. Clarke braced herself for another verbal onslaught as she entered the kitchen and saw Raven busily preparing something on the stovetop.

            “Hey,” she said to Raven, announcing her presence.

            Raven glanced over at her then went back to her cooking. “Hey,” she muttered back.

            “I was just going to get a quick bite to eat. If that’s okay of course.”

            “Yeah, whatever. Take anything you want. That’s kind of your thing, right?”

            “You know what? No. You don’t get to do this to me. I’ve been walking around on eggshells around you because I felt about what happened with Finn and all, but that was not my fault. He hurt us both. And I’m not going to let you hold that over me anymore.” Clarke snapped. She leaned against the counter near where Raven was cooking and forced her to make eye contact with her.

            Raven rolled her eyes which were brimming with tears. Clarke blinked and stepped back when she noticed them. _Shit. Why’d I do that?_

            “Look,” she began again. “I’m sorry. I just want us to try to get along. Please tell me how we can do that.”

            “What makes you so sure we can get along?” Raven asked and rolled a sausage she was cooking over with an angry stab from her spatula.  

            “What makes you so sure we won’t?” Clarke asked, trying a friendly smile which was not reciprocated by Raven. _I mean, odds are we have a lot in common. Finn dated both of us for a reason._

            “Oh my god, Clarke,” Raven said and dropped her spatula with a bang. She turned to face Clarke directly. “I am trying to like you. Give me some time to get over the fact you were sleeping with the love of my life. Does that seem reasonable to you? Hmm? Great.”

            Raven turned back to her cooking which she attacked with renewed vengeance. Clarke took the hint and dropped any attempt at a conversation. She went to the fridge and pulled out a container of yogurt and some fruit. After safely removing a spoon from the drawer next to where Raven stood, she took her breakfast to the art studio. While she ate, she stared at her nearly-finished painting, trying to think of improvements. It seemed clear that Lexa didn’t want to be found. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all,  
> I wanted to do a chapter with a little more from Lexa (and Raven's perspective). Clarke will return halfway through.  
> Hope you enjoy!

            Raven glared at the door that Clarke had just left through and tried her best to reign her anger in. She knew it was misplaced, but every time she saw Clarke she couldn’t help but lash out. She shook her head slightly, trying to dispel the negative thoughts that had crawled inside. Reaching into the cupboard by the oven, she grabbed two plates and transferred half of the food she was making onto each. After dumping the dishes in the sink, she carefully carried the two plates as she made her way back to Gustus’s room where she had found Lexa keeping vigil earlier that morning.

            Lexa barely moved to acknowledge Raven when she entered bearing gifts of breakfast. She was sitting in Gustus’s desk chair, her eyes remained fixed on his head wound. Despite Lexa’s concern, Gustus seemed to be perfectly fine. He was sitting up in his bed, talking on the phone presumably to Anya. He smiled gratefully at Raven when she placed his breakfast beside his bed. Raven nudged Lexa to get her to take the plate of food she was offering. Lexa jumped then silently took the plate from Raven who then plopped down on the floor near her feet.

            “He looks like he’s doing alright,” Raven said.

            “You never know with head wounds,” Lexa said, picking at the food Raven had given her.

            “I’ll get him to the hospital as soon as the roads clear up,” Raven said and gave Lexa’s leg a reassuring squeeze.

             Lexa smiled down at her, her eyes shining with gratitude. Lexa hadn’t been back to the hospital for any reason since Costia had died, and despite her concern for Gustus, Raven knew that she still couldn’t bring herself to go.

            “Are you not eating?” Lexa asked, noticing Raven’s lack of plate.

            Raven shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m too hungover to eat. God, when did I become such a lightweight?”

            “I don’t think passing out after taking six shots practically in a row classifies you as a lightweight,” Lexa said.

            “Six shots? I think it was more like four. Still, that’s nothing worse than I did back in college.” Raven frowned.

            “You’re getting old, then,” Lexa said with a grin.

            “Haha, very funny,” Raven said sarcastically then looked up at Lexa. She cleared her throat, trying to think of the best way to phrase this. “So I walked in on Clarke in room this morning. What’s going on between you two?”

            Lexa dropped her fork and ran both hands through her hair. She let out an exasperated groan before saying, “I don’t know. We got to talking last night after you fell asleep, and I started to go to a dark place. I just didn’t want to be alone last night. All we did was sleep.”

            “Is that all you wanted to do?” Raven asked, lowering her voice so Gustus couldn’t overhear them.

            “I don’t know. It’s complicated.” Lexa said and took a bite out of a sausage.

            “It’s complicated? You can’t just sleep with your employees. Even if all you do is literally sleep. It’s weird, Lex.”

            “Is it though? I mean technically you’re my employee, and yet you and I live together. How many times have we shared a bed?” Lexa’s eyes flashed with anger.

            “That’s different,” Raven said, her own anger started to build. “And you know it is. Seriously, Lexa. You could have picked literally anyone else to hire. Why’d it have to be Clarke? Why can’t you see what it’s doing to me to have her here all the time?”

            “I didn’t mean to bring someone who would hurt you. It’s just. When I’m with her, everything doesn’t seem so bleak. Can’t you just let me have this one moment of selfishness that’s letting me finally feel okay?” Lexa asked, choking back tears.

            “Can’t you see my side of this? She already took Finn from me. Now she’s taking you too. And I feel completely alone.” Raven said, voicing words she never thought she’d actually utter out loud to Lexa. She was trying her best not to cry and alert Gustus that something was wrong.

            Lexa looked over at Gustus who was still talking on the phone then looked down at Raven. “Let’s go talk somewhere else. This isn’t the place.” She said as she stood up and placed her nearly empty plate of food on the chair she had been sitting in.

            Raven followed her from the room. Lexa didn’t speak as she navigated the halls to find a proper place for her and Raven to talk in private. They ended up back in Lexa’s room. Raven took a chair, and Lexa sat down on the bed. It was a while before either of them spoke. Lexa’s eyes were fixed on the picture frames on her chest of drawers. She seemed lost in them, longing for that world again. They both began speaking at the same time and stopped immediately.

            “You can go ahead. I’ve said all I need to say.” Raven said and crossed her arms while she waited for Lexa to speak again.

            Lexa cleared her throat and began again. “I think you’re right,” she said slowly. “I do. Honestly. I can see how it would feel like Clarke is also trying to take me from you.” She paused and gave Raven a small, sad smile and shook her head slightly while saying, “But no one can take me from you. You’re my best friend. And it’s time I started acting like it again.”

            “Lexa…” Raven began, but Lexa held up her hand to ask her to let her keep talking.

            “No it’s true. You have been there for me since the day that Costia died.” She tripped over that name but regained her composure. “Now it’s my turn to be here for you, and I’ve been failing to do that. So let’s go. Let’s take a trip to that beach we always went to and just relax. Put this whole thing behind us.”

            Raven sniffled and tears welled up in her eyes. “You mean that?” She asked through a sob.

            “I do. Look, the estate’s going to be crawling with workers trying to fix everything the storm broke. It’s a perfect time to get away for a bit.” Lexa said earnestly. She stood up from the bed and pulled Raven from her seat. The two embraced in a tight hug.

            “You’re not alone,” Lexa told Raven as they hugged. “We’re going to get through this together.”

            Raven pulled back from the hug to wipe the tears from her eyes. It felt like old times. Her and Lexa taking on the world together. That’s how it had always been before Costia had died and taken part of Lexa with her.

            “What about Clarke?” Raven asked even though she was afraid of what Lexa might say.

            Lexa sighed. That name was like a giant barrier between them.

            “Can we figure out what to do about Clarke when we get back? I honestly think you just need time to process what happened with Finn.” Lexa said.

            Raven wanted to protest and refuse to even entertain the idea of allowing Clarke to stay, but she didn’t. She could tell that Clarke was actually helping Lexa. The fact that Lexa was starting to try to make an effort in their friendship was evidence enough of that. It was like Lexa was starting to come back to life again. And so, she decided to give it time. Maybe Lexa was right, and time away from everything would fix this.

            “Okay,” she agreed. “Let’s go. But, who’s going to take care of the Taekwondo Center while we’re gone? I don’t remember the last time both of us left it. And what about Gustus?”

            “Ontari can handle running classes for a few days, and Anya will take care of Gustus. Come on, what’s the point of being rich if I can’t drop everything to vacation for a few days.” Lexa said with a smile. Raven could tell she had missed their friendship as much as she had.

            “Oh my god. Ontari is going to drive away all our students. That girl is crazy.” Raven protested.

            “She’ll be fine. How much damage can she do in five days?” Lexa asked with a smirk. She didn’t share Raven’s fears about Ontari.

            “We’ll be lucky if the Center’s still standing by the time we get back. But fuck it. Let’s go get crunk at the beach for a few days. I feel like I could use some rebound sex.” Raven said surprised herself by how much she really meant that. Maybe she could find a way to get over Finn after all.

            “I’ll be your wingman,” Lexa said with smile. “I’m just going to let Anya know that we’re taking the next few days off. Do you think you could take Gustus to the hospital if the roads are clear enough? We’ll only go if he’s actually okay.”

            “Yeah of course. I’ll go check on him now.” Raven said and went to go to so. For the first time since Finn had dumped her, she finally felt like she was going to be okay.

            Lexa sent Anya a text about missing the next few days after Raven left the room then turned off her phone so Anya couldn’t call to give her a lecture on responsibility. She went to the chest of drawers and picked up the picture of her and Raven laughing and traced the frame with her finger. It seemed like it had been a lifetime since Costia had taken this picture of them at the beach. Now, they were going to that same beach to make new memories. _I just have to tell Clarke we’re leaving first._

                                                                            ***  

             Clarke was making some spur of the moment changes to her painting when Lexa entered the art studio quietly. She cleared her throat so that Clarke would know she was there. Clarke didn’t have to turn around to know it was Lexa. No one else ever came to the art studio.

            “What’s up?” She asked as casually as she could manage while she continued to work on the painting.

            “I wanted to apologize,” Lexa said with a twinge of nervousness that she hoped Clarke couldn’t detect. “I should have waited for you to wake up before leaving.”

            Clarke put her paintbrush down and stepped closer to Lexa. “So why didn’t you?” She asked, the look in her eyes seemed to dare Lexa to step closer.

            “Force of habit,” Lexa admitted. “And I need to make sure Gustus was okay.” She added quickly.

            “Is he okay?” Clarke asked.

            “Raven’s taking him to the hospital as soon as the roads clear up. But he seems fine.” Lexa said looking relieved.

            “That’s good then,” Clarke said. There was a closeness that she felt with Lexa that had only been strengthened by last night’s events. Her hands ached to hold Lexa’s as they had before. Clarke suddenly became aware that she was staring at Lexa’s lips. She snapped her eyes back to Lexa’s and smiled.

            Lexa smiled back, but her smile faded. “There’s another thing. Completely unrelated to the first thing.” She said a little too quickly to be perfectly casual.

            _Holy shit. She’s actually freaking out right now._

            Clarke took a step closer to Lexa so that they were almost touching. Lexa didn’t move back and convincingly didn’t react to Clarke’s invasion of personal space.

            “And what’s that?” Clarke asked softly and let her eyes wander noticeably back to Lexa’s lips.

            Lexa swallowed. The tension between the two of them had to have been driving her as insane as it was driving Clarke.

            “Raven and I are going out of town for a few days. We’ll get back just in time for Wells’s poetry thing.” She stammered and fiddled with the hem of her shirt.

            “Oh,” Clarke said and blinked a bit stunned. _That’s not the direction I thought this conversation was going in._ She felt like her and Lexa were finally starting to connect on a deeper level. It felt like going backward to have her leave so abruptly. “Where are you going?”

            “Just to the beach. Raven needs sometime away from everything, and I said I’d go with her. Trying to be a good friend.” Lexa said with a little shrug and a nervous smile.

            “I think that’s a really good idea.  Raven really seems like she needs a vacation.” Clarke said with a grimace, recalling their interaction this morning.

            “She really does. It’s been years since the two of us took a vacation together.”  Lexa said. She seemed to have suddenly realized how close she and Clarke were standing and stepped back a little and looked around the room. Her eyes fell on the painting Clarke had been working on. She moved to take a closer look. “You changed the painting.”

            “Only a little. I was inspired this morning. It’s not quite done yet. It’ll be great by the time you get back.” Clarke said and moved to Lexa’s side. She looked at her painting with critical eyes.

            “It’s beautiful,” Lexa said in a hushed voice, looking spell-bound by painted canvas.

            The painting was of a field, dotted with flowers like the ones Lexa had shown Clarke on her first day at the estate. On the edge of the field there was a forest of dark green trees that jutted upward into a sunset sky. There was a girl sitting in the middle of the field facing the forest, her eyes distant with longing. Behind her, there was a storm in the distance—this is the addition Clarke had made this morning.

            “Is the girl supposed to be me?” Lexa asked after soaking in the details of the painting a little long.

            “Uh, if you want it to be,” Clarke said which earned her an exasperated look from Lexa.

            “You had to have had someone in mind when you were painting her,” Lexa said and narrowed her eyes at Clarke.

            “Okay, she’s inspired by you, but not meant to be an exact portrait. The scene felt incomplete without her.” Clarke explained, unsure why exactly she felt the need to justify including Lexa’s likeness in the painting.  

            “I like it,” Lexa said then pointed to the corner where the storm was looming in the distance. “Is the storm coming or going?”

            “That’s for you to decide,” Clarke said putting on her most cryptic face.

            Lexa made a disapproving grunt which made Clarke grin then examined the picture again. “It would have to be approaching. Otherwise there’d be a rainbow in the clear part of the sky.” She reasoned.

            “Or I haven’t painted the rainbow on. I actually haven’t decided yet. What do you think?” Clarke asked. _Has your storm passed? Are you ready for peace?_

            “Hmm, big decision. You can paint however you see best, but I think the storm should have passed. It would give me hope, looking at a painting like that.” Lexa said and smiled shyly at Clarke.

            “Me too. Plus rainbows make everything just a little gayer which is always a good thing.” Clarke said with a wink and gave Lexa a little nudge with her elbow.

            “Yeah,” Lexa said softly and her eyes flickered to Clarke’s lips. She reached out and almost touched Clarke’s face before she stopped. “Sorry, I just noticed you have a little smudge of paint on your face.”

            “Oh I do? Can you get that for me?” Clarke asked and handed her the damp rag she kept by the easel for just this purpose. She didn’t bother to tell Lexa that she could probably get it herself.

            Lexa dabbed the paint from Clarke’s face with such an intense focus that made Clarke chuckle.

            “What?” Lexa asked, looking from the spot she had been cleaning to Clarke’s eyes. She lowered her hand.

            “You just look adorable when you’re that focused,” Clarke said and placed the rag back on her face. Her hand tingled as it touched Lexa’s to complete the task.

            “Oh, I was done anyway,” Lexa stammered.

She took the rag from Clarke’s face and set it down. Clarke left her hand on Lexa’s while she moved it. Once her hand was empty, she gently brushed the top of Clarke’s hand with her fingertips. They both smiled at the touch of the other’s hand. Clarke placed her other hand on Lexa’s waist and drew her closer until their bodies were pressed up each other. Their lips almost touched.

            “Come on, Lexa,” Clarke breathed. “Don’t you want this as much as I do?”

            Lexa pushed a lock of hair behind Clarke’s ear and caressed her cheek. Her eyes looked sad. Her heart was pounding against Clarke’s chest.

            “I don’t know that I can,” she admitted. “But I want to be able to.”

            Clarke pressed a small kiss on the side of Lexa’s mouth then pulled away. “Think about it during your vacation. I’m in if you are.”

            Lexa nodded at her words then asked, “And if I’m not?”

            “If not, well, I hear you’re a really good friend. And I can always use more of those.” Clarke said smoothly.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I'm planning on doing a slow burn for these two, so don't be disappointed that Lexa left. She'll be back.  
> I'll be posting Chapter 2 soon (I just need to edit it first). Let me know what you think in the comments + feel free to message me on Tumblr (it's the same username as my username here).


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